A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’m really annoyed at my mums friend for messing me about and also at my mum as she is siding with her friend!!!Last year i started making and selling some items- jewelry, hats, bags etc… My mums friend who I’ve only met a handful of times saw my stuff as my mum shared it in her Facebook page so her friend immediately added me as a friend so she could browse my items.She contacted me at Christmas as she wanted to order a few items to give as gifts. She told me to put by a few things, costing just under £50 - which I did. I then spent several weeks asking for payment and to arrange for her to pick them up - she kept putting me off saying she would pay etc…I had a couple of people interested in the items she chose (unfortunately I didn’t have time to make more) but had to decline selling to them as they were on hold. In the end she ended up buying them different gifts - so I missed out on a sale. She apologized saying she forgot she had ordered stuff with me and when I told her I had to decline other people wanting the items and lost money she didn’t seem to care much!A few months ago she contacted me again - for different items and wanted to see them before buying- so we arranged for her to come over one evening - she didn’t show up! She thought she had texted me to say we needed to rearrange but didn’t! Eventually after a couple of attempts she made it round and picked what she wanted. She then asked me if she could take the items with her and pay me the following week when she got paid. I explained I couldn’t do that as I had issues in the past with chasing people for money - she was a bit put out but I told her you can’t go to a shop and take something or order something online and pay a week later. She then started to say she would have no idea when she could collect the items as she was busy, soI agreed after she paid if drop them off to her.Her pay day came and I asked if she wanted the items- she never got back to me. I waited another week and firmly told her that if she wanted the items I would need payment with in 48 hours or they would be sold to someone else - within the hour I got my payment and I arranged to drop them off.When I got to her house she wasn’t in (she had told me to come at this particular day and time). There was nowhere safe to even leave them so I had to take them back home. It then took another 2 weeks to arrange a drop off to her which she kept messing me about with! Anyway she had apparently gone to my mum to moan about how put out and awkward she felt dealing with me as I didn’t let her take the items when she wanted and the fact that I gave her 48 hours to pay! She completely misconstrued everything making me look bad! I told my mum the full story stating all the facts and showing her the texts , on how her friend was the one being difficult! But my mum was like “yea but she’s my friend, you could’ve let her have the stuff and got paid later” and “you shouldn’t have given her 48 hours as she felt pressured!”I honestly don’t think I did anything wrong! I wasn’t rude and accommodated her as best I could - she was the rude awkward one but my mum doesn’t see it! Opinions please!
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (10 September 2023):
 I agree with what you said, you would not go into a shop or buy something online and pay a week later, this would never happen in the real world.
I feel you did the right thing by not giving her the goods and letting her pay later. She would be one of those people who takes advantage of your good nature and resulting in you being stressed and out of pocket.
You never did anything wrong here, and i'm sure your Mum knows that too.
My advice would be to never do business with her again, block her so she can't see what your selling.
Good luck with your business.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 September 2023):
 Your mother is enabling this woman to try and take advantage of you.
"you could’ve let her have the stuff and got paid later”
No, that is not how you run a business. If you KNEW the lady well and she was trustworthy, then MAYBE but she had already messed you around over Christmas, so NO you don't OWE that woman anything.
Now that you have had some interactions and transactions with this woman I would simply BLOCK her from your Facebook group. So she can no longer see your items.
This is a BAD customer.
Learn from this. Do not "reserve" things if a customer doesn't PREPAY. You shouldn't have to "hunt down" a customer to deliver their goods!
Sometimes when you mix family and business you end up with a barrel full of monkeys...
Put CLEAR instructions for payment, delivery, and pick up on your website and STICK to that. Don't go through hoops for your mom's friends or random strangers.
The reason she went to your mom and whined is because she thought she SHOULD get it for FREE. She didn't WANT to pay.
Learn from this and move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2023): I'm with you here. Your mother's loyalty should have been to support you in your venture and not make excuses for her friend to take the mic. Good on you for standing your ground, this pain in the neck is costing you money and I would therefore block all interactions with her and refuse her custom in future. As you rightly point out, would she expect to go into Home Bargain and leave behind an IOU? Sounds like an entitled leach to me.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (9 September 2023):
 It's your business, not your mother's. Frankly, in your shoes, I would delete and block your mother's friend on Facebook so she cannot browse your items. If she tries to get something through your mother, tell her every item she wants has already been sold and you are not planning on making more. She will soon get the hint.
Making a few quid is difficult enough these days without entitled people like this.
Good luck with your venture.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2023): Your mother is wrong and weak.I'm not saying she should have said anything to he friend as your business had nothing to do with her but she shouldn't have sided with her friend.Her friend was obviously looking for big discounts and/or other benefits. Have items now and pay later? Is she crazy? I was tricked once by my MILES friend. We agreed on the number of pages I needed to translate and the amount I should be paid. When the work was done I had to chase her to get my money and she paid me FIVE times less than she should have!I told my MIL that I will never work with anywith this person. And the next time she recommended my services to her other friends I asked for a firm contract. As you may guess, none of them wanted to give me one. These people had been using my MIL for ages and thought that they can do the same to me. They always try and it's up to us to say no.My MIL continued to be friends with these people. She is weak in yhat regard.So you didn't do anything wrong. If that friend calls next time find a polite way to refuse.
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