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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My mum just hinted to me that I was born a mistake and she never even denied it. It really hurts knowing that. I love my mum and everything but when something goes wrong she blames me never anyone else just cause I'm the youngest in the family. They normally say the youngest is the favourite in my situation hardly close, it's like I'm the most hated person in my family even though I don't do much wrong and if I do their minor things such as leaving something in the kitchen and forgetting to put it away and it hardly happens. On the other hand my brother I don't know what's up with him but all he does is fight and argue with my mum and dad and then from time to time my oldest sister, she defends my parents and things get messy. Swearing and shouting, voices raised, so annoying. I hate it, I might even try to stop it and that's a good thing if I have stopped the arguement but still I'm told off and shouted at.My sister's older than my brother, but my brother doesn't seem to have respect for anyone, he goes off the limits, and over the top. Example he's watching telly we do a little whispering and he goes all mad angry and pyscho, slams the doors, swears and all sorts. Even if we don't talk and like cough he gets annoyed and says I can't hear the telly and puts the volume to full blast. After doing all this my mum still takes his side she's always taking his side no matter what he does, and how wrong he is, it's so annoying I get shouted at for doing nothing wrong and I'm told to shut up when he comes in the room, or when he's watching telly and to move off his seat in order for him to sit and give him the remote for the telly even though I'm watching something. It's like he's the king, royality or something. Like at his presence we all bow and kneel. Seriously when he's angry he goes mad and scary. But my mum don't care about that, she still sticks up for him, loves him more than me so obvious. Even when I question my mum about this I get shouted and screamed at, and it looks like it's my fault when it's not. All my sister does is give me the evil look like what have I done. If I even try talking to my mum nice and calmly I get shouted at and they say the reason why I think all of this is because I'm jealous of my brother and how much my mum loves him. Well I admit I am, what else do they expect, I am human obviously, I am going to be jealous when I don't get any love from my mum and my dad who I hardly see as he's busy at work. When I do see him and I'm talking normal with my sister he'll shout at me and take my other sister's side as she is the favourite for him, when in an argument and I'm right I still get shouted at. I seriously don't see any love from my parents towards me even if they do, they don't show it and it is going to be most likely a little bit, most of the time I get sworn at by my brother and sisters shouted screamed and then on top my parents. I get falsly accused of things which I do not do. No one ever believes me or cares about me. I'm ignored when talking. Even if someone knows it's not my fault they will not defend me. Anthing goes wrong and I'm the first to be blamed for it and then they ask why I get annoyed and flip. What else am I meant to do? I have had enough of accusations, fights, screaming shouting and everything. I try proving myself right and I get shouted at. Every little thing I do I get shouted for. Most of which I do not do. No matter how mad my brother goes my mum always has an excuse for him, example he's influenced by his mates (not even knowing what they're like). Anything he does wrong, there is always an excuse even if there isn't it's just said with no proof that he's not himself just for now, got a lot of stress. I can't put up with the crap anymore. What to do?? Please help, any advice would be good. And if you're going to say my mum never brought my family up right then that's wrong cause she's very strict and kept us in limit, it's just my brother, he's in his teens and something's up, never has happened before with any of my other sisters. By the way I'm 14 years old.I forgot to add my family can actually be normal, like any ordinary one but when it comes to the arguments it's just over the top, madness, screaming shouting and accusations on me. Thanks for the advice.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): it is not your mistake be patient and work hard for your self first and keep away from your mum old mistakes and always ask God to help you, within time your case will be cured, keep up and look for the truth in this life, A Muslim Man
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): thanks for all the advice, but however mostly i am stuck in my books studying doing homework and still no one realises me notices how well i'm doing. Most of my homeworks i have to do by computer if i use the computer for too long or even print i get shouted at. What's even more annoying is i don't print anything at home i print all my homework and anything i need to do at school.I can't use the computer at school cuase they're always taken and if i need to use it i'll end up needing it for all my luch time so no lunch and then last year i never had lunch a few times cause of homework and i got nagged at from the teacher of why don't you eat lunch i told he she didn't care. i get nagged for everything, even if it's good, i been getting good grades in my GCSE's the ones i have done so far but still they're happy i got good marks for about an evening or just 1 hour and then again the accusations start on me. Fighting screaming shouting, so annoying. I even decided to buy a laptop with my own money, but no one will take me to the shop to buy it or either, no one will be bothered to buy it online for me,(cause i don't have a debit or credit card) and i pay them back in cash, either way it don't work out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): Great advice of Lotus Mama. Get busy studying up. Use the negative energy to propel you forward. One day, you will hold your medical doctorate, and, you will see, things WILL be different, in a good way.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808  +, writes (20 February 2009):
Well, you'll be happy to know that many families are this way behind closed doors. I am the youngest of 5 kids, all boys except me. I am now 26, and I learned that the more I kept distracted with school work, focused on my future (which I planned to spend AWAY from my folks), the better my home life went. My mom started to notice how well I was doing, and began respecting me more as I grew older. I'll tell you, however, life was hell in my house growing up. Like you, I was the family rubbish pail, if anything happened, it was my fault. I decided around the age 15 that I was going to work extra hard at bettering my future, because I wanted out of there, I wanted to be able to have a nice, quiet, comfertable life without ever asking for help from them. Now, my family and I are very close, we talk often, and get along great. Of course I moved off the continent they live on to my own little island, but I miss them, and love my mom very much. She told me as well that I was a mistake, but hon, most babies are mistakes. Some people want to have children, but the majority of pregnancies are unplanned. Don't feel bad, things are stressful at home, you just need to create your own little bubble where you stay out of everything, try to avoid confertation, focus on the future, and make it happen. You will see, your family will see you in a new light. Also, don't be part of the argument. Avoid it. You know your parents very well, and you know what sets them off, stay in your positive bubble. Make it your happy place. "Why did you forget to do your chores?!" "Because I got wrapped up in this extra credit project at school. I'll get right to it, sorry mum."-Trust me, it works.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): That's a really rubbish situation for you :(
I'm the oldest of 3 and i've never really felt loved and i'm also the one whos blamed for everything...and i know that i was a mistake too...
But i guess the only thing i could suggest would be to sit down with your family and tell them that they need to listen to your point of view because it's seriously upsetting you! Because, you're right, it isn't fair!
And chin up, you'll have freedom soon :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): dang…that sounds miserable…esp. your brother…what a rude hormonal jerk…hopefully it's just a result of him being a know-it-all teen…honestly, i'd say go to a counselor at school if you have one…maybe they could recommend a good book or therapist for your family…sounds like your mom is just as immature, ill-mannered, disrespectful, and inconsiderate as your bro…let your mom know how you feel one day…just sit down alone the two of you…hopefully she'll hear you out…if not, then she's really missing out
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