A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Agony people. Need a bit of help here. My brother is due to get married during the summer. The bride's mum bought her outfit a few weeks ago. The groom's mum bought her last week in the same shop. Both outfits are completely different. The groom and bride got it into their head that both outfits are the same colour and style and told the groom's mum to change hers. My mum has been offended by this. After clarfying that both outfits are different to the couple they think that they have done nothing wrong. My mum isnt one for making a scene or causing drama but now she's doubti g her outfit which she has paid a good bit of money for. It was the only job she had to so for the day. My mum has now questioned whether or not we should attend the day. If someone could offer insight as to how this situationed could be resolved I would be grateful thanks.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 February 2018):
 Was it the groom and bride that had the issue or was it the mother in law? Either way I am sure they could have handled it better. Some people go a bit crazy over weddings and let the small things get to them. Your brother had no right to ask your mother to change her outfit and I can understand why she got offended, it also probably could have been discussed in a more fairer way. Anyway nobody can change that now and well they sorted it and realized that the two outfits are different so at least there is no need to change anything. She shouldn't doubt her outfit, she should wear it with pride, and if she is having doubts about it then maybe a trip back to the shop to look at some more wouldn't do any harm. Now your mother asking should you attend the wedding is totally over the top and will create a lot of drama. Weddings can be stressful for everyone but your mother needs to think about her son, it is his special day and she needs to remember that. The only way going forward is for your brother and mother to have a good old talk and give her the chance to tell him how she feels. It might do them both good to talk. But your mother should not put you in that position and say to you that you shouldn't go to the wedding as well. It is your brothers big day.
A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (7 February 2018):
Why would you not go to your brothers wedding over something this childish? If you want to alienate your brother and his new wife and any children they may have later then don’t go
If on the other hand you want to behave like an adult who has a mind of her own then go to your brother’s wedding.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2018): Go with or without your mum.
You're a grown-woman, what does your mother's petty concern have to do with your attendance at your own brother's wedding?
It's about the bride and the groom, not about dresses! She'll get over herself; and you can expedite that by telling her you're going no matter what. She can always say no to the dress and get herself another one. One monkey don't stop no show!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2018): Is your mum/her mum not able to get an exchange? Faiing that, can't both mums say 'sorry, but what difference does the colour of our dresses make?'
Either way, I'm sure whatever happends, your brother would want as many of his family there. You should go, regardless of how the Mother in laws act.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 February 2018):
 I think your mom is making a mountain out of a mole hill. I don't think it was RIGHT of your brother and the SIL to DEMAND that your mother change/exchange outfit but my guess is they suggested it because YOUR mom is less "dramatic" than the bride's mom.
We ALL know that people get a tad over the top around weddings and wanting everything to be perfect. Chalk it up to that.
Now that it's ALL sorted out, the outfits are NOT the same, there is no reason to continue this "drama".
If you mom doesn't want to go, tell her to stay home. SHE will regret not being there on her son's big day.
As for whether YOU should not attend... WHY? Because your mom wants to punish your brother? It's petty.
LET IT GO, be the bigger people (you and your mom)
Dress up, go and ENJOY the wedding.
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