A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mum and dad separated over a year ago. Now my mum's trying to get revenge on him by putting flirty lovey dovey statuses on her fb. It's making me and my brother irritated. I want to tell her to grow up and leave my dad alone. I'm sick and disgusted with her immature crap. I wish she would get over it and stop putting my dad down and think about how its unfair to me. He's still my dad and I love him. How can I get her to shut the hell up?
View related questions:
flirt, immature, revenge Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 February 2012):
 Tell your mom to keep her drama to yourself and walk away.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): Im the poster. so how do I get her to stop from cursing me out when she harrasses me to look at what shes going to write on fb to let her know if its flirty enough to make him mad and I tell her no. I dont want to be mean to her and yell back. I just want her to leave me out of it and not just think about herself.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 February 2012):
It's between your mom and dad, let them figure it out, THEY are the adults!
If you don't like your mothers FB status, block her, delete her.
...............................
A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (8 February 2012):
 Being a child of divorced parents myself, I can completely understand that you feel like you are stuck in the middle of this. Block her so you don't see her messages if they are upsetting you. And if she notices and asks why you blocked her, politely and professionally tell her with out using blame or any guilt tripping, "I was getting upset over the things you were posting that I feel are directed towards my dad. I don't want to tell you what to do, so I thought just blocking them would be the best thing for me." See? That makes you sound mature rather than whiney. Don't point the finger and say "You're upsetting me." Just say "It was upsetting me." There's a difference. She should realize that if it's effecting you and your brother, she might tone it down.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): I really do agree with you. The other replys are crap and have no empathy with you. There will be a lot your dad could say too, but fortunately he's more mature and secure in himself. Tell her that her constant need for attention is making her look like the woman she really is, not the woman people may have thought she was. She is entertaining other people at her own expense and its embarrassing. Your father will be reassured splitting with her was the right thing if she is like that.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 February 2012):
 MYOB. Your mother is an adult , is separated, and does not need an 18 y.o. censor to breathe down her neck. So she's flirting and you don't like it. I bet there are tons of think you do she does not like and she puts up with you. What about having a little empathy, a little female solidariety with your own mom ? Flirting on line may not be the most mature thing ever, but maybe after a failed marriage she is at a stage in her life where she needs a little pick me up and to remind herself that she is still a desirable ,appreciable woman.
The fact that she does this just to irritate your father is your own personal conclusion, not necessarily the truth.
But even if it were so, that's their business, stay out of it.
If she belittles or disparages your father to you, yes, you'd be legitimated to tell her to please stop, because you love your father and you'd rather not hear insulting comments about him, and I am sure she would respect that , regradless of any bitterness between them.
But for the rest, just live your life and let your mother live hers as she sees fit.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): I'm the poster. It's unfair to me because she constantly puts him down and gets upset with me if I don't agree with what she says about him. I love her and my dad equally so I think its right that I be objective. I don't bash her to my dad and my dad doesnt put her down to me or harrass me to scheme negative things against her like she hounds me to do. Thats cruddy. Adult or not no parent should do that to their child cerberus.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): "Think about how it's unfair to me" aw poor baby. Oh wait you're an adult now. Stop being so selfish OP and grow up, this is nothing to do with you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): How about you stop acting immature and just stay out of it? Your Dad's a big boy OP he can take care of himself.
If you don't like your mothers status updates then unsubcribe to them, simple as that.
Your mom has a lot hurt, bitterness and resentment over what happened with your father and just because she's not handling it well doesn't give you the right to take sides and put her down the way you are now. She bore you and raised you, she deserves your respect if she did that well and she deserves a bit of understanding too because break ups are tough as fuck and we do stupid things while we get over them.
I just hope to hell I don't get as bitchy, judgemental and immature a child as you when I have kids. It would be nice to have kids that understand no one's perfect and everyone makes mistakes, but no you'd rather call her names and tell her to shut up. Christ even if I had the most bithcy ex-wife I'd be very ashamed if my children were as disrespectful and unsympathetic towards their own mother as you are.
She may well have good reason too, your ever so perfect dad may have cheated on her or any number of other awful shit you don't know about, maybe by doing this she is venting but still protecting you from the truth of the situation.
You know what OP, if you can't love and support your mother when she's going through hard times then you should just leave her alone altogether because she deserves more respect than this from you and both of them deserve enough respect from you to stay out of their business and not take sides. You're the one who needs to shut the hell up.
...............................
A
male
reader, Ayan Ganguly  +, writes (8 February 2012):
 Speak your mind out to your mum...and let her know that her immaturity is affecting you and that she should stop bothering your dad for your sake..
...............................
|
