A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i met this guy when i was 14, there was a group of us and we'd never met him before. i instantly fell for him. he was absolutly gorgeous! 20 year old 6ft tall, dark hair, blue eyes, 6 pac, he was like something from a magazine! haha. noo waaayyyy would he ever fancy a 5ft 5, 12 stone, thing that wore glasses! (which i dont wear anymore :P lol) but for some reason, we got along really well! we swapped msn's and we chatted every night for about 6 weeks. he was so nice! the more i talked to him, the more i liked him. we aggreed to meet up after about 2 months of talking. he took me out in his car, we got a milkshake and went and sat near the airport, it was about 10 o clock so all dark.. and he didnt try anything :) he really respected me.anyway, we met up a few times, maybe three times a week actually, and then eventually he asked me out! i was exstatic! i was soo happy. everything went great. he took me places, bought me things. he respected me and the fact i didnt want sex yet. we went out for 18 months without sleeping together. we had an amazin relationship. but my mum didnt approve. she couldnt see why someone like him, would want to me with someone like me, without it been for sex! but after 18 months she still didnt belive we hadnt done it.anyway thats not the question. this is..we've been together for 3 years now he is 23, he drives lives in a 2 bedroomed apartment, he has a very good job. well it must be good if it paid for a chrysler crossfire? anyway! the question is. im pregnant. i found out last tuesday that i was 7 weeks pragnant! im petrified already. im scared about the birth! so bad i never ever stop thinkin about it. but whats even worse than that, is the fact that my mum wont entertain me! she hates me for been with him. she still cant accept him after 3 years! he told me i can move in with him. im there almost everry night anyway, we can make the spare bedroom into a nursery. we both want to keep the baby! hes even asked me to marry him!! im still at college, so all im recieving at the minute is the £80 a week im getting for doing my apprenticeship! i know we would between us be able to provide everything for a child. ive looked after babys nearly all my life, so i know id be able to bring it up! and i do feel im mentally, physically and financially stable at the moment. and i would want my baby to grow up with both its parents so yes we would live together! i know this is a masssive post and im sorry, i just wanted to show that he is a really nice guy, and my mum hates him for been 6 years older than me, which is ridiculous i think! how do i tell her that im pregnant? she would probably beat me up (not for the first time either) and pack all my belongings! i dont wanna lose my mum, but i know i would.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlazy guy? i do know what my boyfriend does for a living. i just dont fancy plastering that information on the internet thanks. yes it paid for the car. i was 15 when i thought that. to be honest i think you might like to re read my question. ive been with him now for 3 years! he's hardly a pedo. he waited until i was legal before we did ANYTHING sexually, and yes one night we were stupid and we didnt use protection. we all make mistakes dont we? my boyfriend is earning around £600 a week. most of my stuff is already at his, im there almost every night. he has already told me that he would be willing to take time off work and allow me to continue my education once the baby is born. im 17 not 7. im not a child! im legal and im sure i would make a decent mum, thank you very much.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (14 June 2009):
 In a 7 months time, you are going to be a parent. Responsible for another person who can't in anyway protect themselves.
And right now you write a post that just screams 12yr old girl. Lets hope he is the guy you think he is and not a pedo (what normal 20yr old would go for a 14yr old) because he is going to be taking care of two childeren soon.
You might grow up, but I don't see it and the clock is ticking.
The one way to proof that you are an adult, capable of handling real life with responsibilty would have been to A: use birth control. B: once you failed at that, speak to your mother as an equal.
You want to tell us how succesful you are and how together your life is, yet you show us nothing.
You don't seem to know your partners job. (he has a very good job. well it must be good if it paid for a chrysler crossfire? )
You are not birth control, despite still being in school.
Are unable to confront your mother with the fact that this is your life.
You don't know his earnings, you know yours are 80 a week (and how long can you keep that up when pregnant) yet are sure you are financially capable of taking care of a baby.
This ain't playing house anymore. Time to grow and do it quickly. You can no longer talk or think as a teen. Not if you want others to take you serious.
You might be lucky and found a semi-decent guy. But you are going to have to face that a 20yr old dating a 14yr old is going to raise eyebrows. And responding with "which is ridiculous i think!" is not a mature response.
If you can make this work, congrats. But you are not convincing me until you accept the responsibilty for your actions. WHY have you NOT yet packed up your belongings and moved them to your new home? How many married women do you know who still have a room with their mother? Stand up to her. Tell her this is what is happening, collect your stuff and she ain't going to beat you up with him standing behind you.
You claim you are old enough to have sex, be with a much older guy, start a family? Fine, proof it by telling your mother. That will be far the easiest challenge you have to face.
Good luck, hope you proof me wrong.
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (14 June 2009):
 Looking at this from your mums perspective I can see why she has been concerned about you, being so young, dating an older guy etc Telling her isn't going to be easy and she will probably be upset(very) but you have to do it regardless of the consequences, she should be told as she'll find out eventually anyhow. Whatever happens after that happens and you can't do anything about it. If you have a dad or someone your mother is close to who might be more understanding you could talk to him/her first and that person could do it for you or at least be with you when you tell her. I know your scared consider what I have suggested it might help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): I don't blame your mum. I'm 19 and have a 14 year old sister, if I knew a 20yr old was after her I would go mental on him. I don't care he didn't actually sleep with you, I bet you done other things which are totally wrong. Your still very young and now pregnant? You should be out enjoying yourself, be carefree
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