A
male
age
,
*ona1
writes:I'm well established businessman and very well off . 11 year ago I got involved with a young girl 16 years younger to me. First it was like an affair as I was married but then she was openly known to everybody as my wife. 5 years ago I married her because she was deported from Uk and brought her back as wife. I cought her cheating with somebody about 4 years ago , ask her to divorce because was worried about my properties. She agreed because i had to get her permanent stayin Uk . We still carried on living together as man and wife,. Cought few more time cheating but I could not leave her as she is like an addiction to me . On x mas day she finally left me for other young man she was seeing from last 5 years and got married to him straight away . I m emotionally wrecked and can't get over her. I still wish she comes back And can't seem to move on. What shall I do ?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2011): She just used you to get her stay in this country. Count yourself lucky that she left you. Girls like these are not worth it.
A
male
reader, Nona1 +, writes (10 March 2011):
Nona1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice but it gives me great comfort if she makes any connection with me . Even if she swears at me ,I find it very comforting .I don't have the nerve to cut her off from face book even but I'm sure when she comes back from her honeymoon,she would delete me as her friend.
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A
female
reader, TEM  +, writes (10 March 2011):
 You may be correct. You may be addicted to her in a sense. Being with her was exciting. It probably unleashed a lot of feel good chemicals in your brain. She is gone now and I believe what you are experiencing is a form of withdrawal.
One look at the list of this young woman's behavior tells me she treated you terribly and was not good for you. But you wanted her anyway. Sometimes we want things that are not good for us, whether it be smoking, drinking, gambling, and yes, even certain people.
Although I am using addiction as a comparison, there is some truth to the fact that we do get addicted to certain people - people whose effect on us causes the feel good hormones to flood out brains. It is the same hormone a people that engage in risky, thrill-seeking behaviors experience - gamblers, skydivers, race car drivers, etc.
You can choose the slow way of getting over her or you can take the fast, painful route. If you choose the latter, you must cut off all communication with her. You must go cold turkey. Do not engage in activities that trigger memories of her either. Change the music, the places you eat, the stores you shopped in, even the soap in your house.
Time and distraction will get you through this. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen. If would be interesting if you read this post about her in a year. I wonder what you would think of her then.
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