A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 18 and the man im seeing is 34. we are smitten by each other... we see each other nearly every day, send over 100 texts to each other daily and cant keep our eyes off each other. I have never felt this way about anyone before! There is the small problem which is constantly playing on my mind which is he is getting married in a few months!!!I dont know how he feels about his fiance or about getting married but i do know he cares about me alot. Its been going on for about 4 months now, and are planning a trip away in the summer. He sneaks out of work to meet me, pretends he is working over time, pretends he is with his friends ect just to spend an hour or two with me. We have taken things very slowly, waiting months before we slept together. Another thing you should know is that he was a teacher at my school, making the situation even harder!!! Im going to uni this year and i know this could never last but i really need some help on what others think!!! We cant get each other off our minds and think we are slowley falling in love!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): I agree with others on here, you are just his side thing, don't bother, unless you can accept the fact that you will never be anything more than his plaything.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): goodness this is your follow up isn't it. You posted recently as well(?) your question was again?? your teacher is using you babes, i am sure you cannot see that. If he is sneaking around with you, then you are his dirty little f*ck buddy nothing else. do you think he will have the balls to get with you on a permanent basis. he is used to getting free sex from school girls , you are no different. cheating on his gf with you, what else???
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A
female
reader, champilyn  +, writes (14 January 2010):
 I think that he likes you. but couldn't sacrifice his 'life' for you. he won't cancel the marriage, he probably loves his fiance. and even though you mean a lot to him, he will rethink of everything, and realize that the situation is wrong. ~speaking out of experience except, we never had the relationship~ Yet, a part of his heart would remember you, and of course, he will miss you. but hey, if he cancels the wedding, then it's you and him against the world... so are you ready to face that? besides, there are lots of cute boys in college. LOLZ
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (18 May 2009):
 It sounds all very exciting to me....sneaking around etc bet he loves it! Does it not break your heart he is marrying another women? probably sleeping with another women? I think you have fallen for him alot but he doesnt feel the same as if he did he would let his wife go and be with you, i say if your just having abit of fun then enjoy until you go to uni then find a nice single boyfriend, but if you want more then you need to have that talk with him, plus your age gap your prob want different things in a couple of years! If he liked you as much as you like him then surely he would be with you or at least promise to leave her etc not marry her?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): he is having sex with you and his fiance too. you know he will never call off his wedding.(generalising) he is just like so many teachers out there that abuse their relationship with their students. it is quiet evident this man has abused his power over you. i am hoping you did not lose your virginity to him. it would have been such a waste because i am sure he has had sex with other students as well. you are not the forst and you will certainly not be the last. he is lying to you. pacifying you and telling you what you want to hear. he is not the good, sweet guy that he makes himself out to be. he uses these sweet good for nothing words just so that he can get between youe legs (sorry i have to be brutally hard with this to make you realise what he has done). this teacher is a user and he will continue to use you while you consent to sex. he gently and subtely manipulated you into having a sexual relationship with him. please re evaluate your relationship. he is getting what he wants. do you deserve this. this man has had no respect for you. he is a con man with no morals. he was just looking for a quick lay. he will get married and live a happily ever after and also still screw aroung with his students. his finace should be told about his affair with you. she is innocent just as you are. why must she put up with a lying cheating man. she is making the biggest mistake and perhaps whispering in the right ear will stop her making the biggest mistake of her life. she can then thank you for aving her from him. i hope you do the right thing here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): He care about you as long as he gets from you what he wants, try stopping the sex and telling him to make his mind up, and to contact you when he has.
You will see then just whats what.
And on the off chance he calls off his wedding for you, then id say you lost really. would you really want to be with a cheat? because rest assured you wont be the last.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 May 2009):
 He cares for you so much, that is engaged to be married to someone else and hasn't made a choice for either of you yet.
But hey, sure. He likes you. Even if he does, which I doubt, what does it say about him. What if he picks you, will he cheat on you too with another girl even younger he claims to like.
None so blind as those that don't want to see.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies!! Dearkelja 'I'd have to really question his character at this point.'...He is really sweet and honest with me! He keeps appologising for putting me in this situation and understands if i need him to back off. Sometimes like today when i know he is with her i feel i should finish this whole thing now before i get too hurt, but i cant!!! i really cant! All i want is for him to be happy, and if that means him getting married then so be it. after all, i will be gone soon and i know it would never work out! im just so torn and confused :(
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (16 May 2009):
 He probably cares about you but I believe he will still get married. It is likely he is sowing some of his wild oats before he gets married. I'd have to really question his character at this point.
If it were me in this situation I would outright ask him what he intends to do. If he is still on plan with the marriage then I'd say you are the other woman and you will never be the "one" that you really want to (and should) be.
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