A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i know this isnt the right place to ask help for this matter but i really need some advice. me and my mum dont get along with each other at all. we have a fight every single day bout the littlest things. its like she loves 2 fight!! it really annoys me and i cry everyday which i Try really hard not to do as its bad for my health and skin. She always tells me to look after my younger sisters I can never go out. Its like I don’t have no life but stupid msn. And even when im on msn she doesn’t like it she starts arguing and fighting pointlessly that I shouldn’t talk on msn as it will give me a bad influence. I cant go out make friends or anything. Im 16 not 5!! I hate her so much I try so much not to fight but…
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): hey... don't know if you'll come back on here to read my answer but ah well i will write it anyway... i don't have a social life either... since i left school, none of my friends kept in touch with me, like i didnt even matter to them, i do get on with my mum but none of my college friends ask me to hang out with them, i don't even know why i exist. at least you have an excuse cos your mum stops you but i just don't have one! i fell so pathetic and alone. Cya... P.S. I am also 16
A
female
reader, chrissy32789  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Dear anonymous writer,
hey hun life is tough when you live under your parents roof you have to do what they want they want, but why dont you look for a job while you are on the internet and tell her that you have a job and you cant watch you little sister any more and save all your pay checks up so when you trun 18 you can move out and wont have to deal with her on your case no more, i am 18 and i moved out with my fiance and my mom is still on my case and my fiance is 25 and his mom is on his case about alot of things to your mother will always be on your case no matter how old you are but just suck it up and deal with it...back fire on your mom what i mean about that is when she tells you to watch your little sister just do it with out a fight when she tells you to get odd msn just do it let it back fire on her and then she will cut down on you when you fight with her about everything she will fight right back but if you do what she says then she will back down and she wont make you cry no more.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (12 April 2007):
 There is a law of nature that says that parents get noticeably stupider when their kids hit their teens, and don't get any better until the kids get into their 20's. You're right in the middle of this.
I bet you're the oldest kid in your family, too, aren't you? I was too, and always had to watch my younger sisters when I wanted to go hang out with friends and do stuff.
She fears MSN because she doesn't understand it. To her it looks just like the telephone that HER mother wouldn't let HER talk on very long when she was your age.
First, you've got to understand that your mother really DOES love you and is trying her best to do what she thinks is right for you. I know that's hard to believe, but it's the honest truth. She's not perfect ... nobody is. Sometimes the way she handles things is just plain backwards from the way that would work best and make you feel good about what needed to get accomplished.
Maybe a calm conversation would work where the fights and the tears have not. Keep track of the times you've been asked to babysit for a week or two, and the times that you've been free to go out and do stuff with your friends. Then after you've kept this for a time, ask your mother, very calmly and without any bad tones in your voice, if you can have a serious conversation with her. Go over the results of your observations, and see if you can get her to agree that you, as a 16 year old young woman, should be allowed more time to spend with your friends and in social activities. If she agrees, see if the two of you can work out a compromise about the times when you will be allowed to go out and when you will be expected to make your contribution to the good of the family by watching your sisters.
Hey, it's worth a shot.
But remember, if you expect to be treated with respect and as a young woman instead of a child, you have to let your behavior reflect that. No more tantrums, keep your tears to yourself, and when you talk to your mother always do so respectfully. Hard, I know, but we earn the right to be treated as an adult by exhibiting adult behavior instead of childish behavior.
Go to it.
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