A
female
age
30-35,
*ivelifelove
writes:hello everyone I need your advice. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and im an adult. My mother keeps on telling me she is going to get me and him to break up every single day. I am pregnant by him and im tired of hearing her say that and now she is starting to hate me. I love him with all my heart and my mother keeps on tellng me i have to chose between her and my babies father. My mother was never there for me when i was a little girl and now she wants to and be the only one and knock my baby daddy out of the picture. what should I do?I already told her i wouldnt chose and she is still not accepting it. Please tell me what i should do. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 January 2011):
 I agree with the other posters. You shouldn't have to choose, and it is not right for your mom to put you in that position and ask you too. The baby's father will be part of your life, as you share a child. This is whether or not you two work out. Does she want to exclude him from the child as well? I'd let her know, since she wasn't there, laws have changed, and fathers have rights as well. These right supersede what you want or what your mom wants, so she needs to get over that idea if that's her direction.
What she is asking is wrong. I do agree where you're having a baby that if she continues, you'll need to choose the baby's father over her. It's the obligation of you two to raise the child, not your mom's, and should be allowed to do so without her interference.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): I mean it is one thing if you are living under her roof all the while dating this guy, carrying his baby, and she is telling you that if you want to continue living under her roof she would prefer you weren't dating a guy who can't even support you. Why should your mom pick up HIS mess? That's not fair. Perhaps she feels that if you want to keep the baby and be with this guy then you have to move out and be with him and support yourselves and so she is giving you an ultimatum. That is understandable. If that is what she wants then she makes a good point. Not sure what the situation is though. Is that what is going on here? If however, you are truly handling this like an adult, you have your own place with your bf, both plan on raising this child like proper adults, both have your own money saved up to care for yourselves and the baby, both have level heads and get along great so that your mom doesn't have to worry her self sick whenever she hears you crying cause you fought AGAIN with your boyfriend, you know stuff like that. If you both truly have level heads and maturity and are really handling this like adults then I don't think your mom is in the right to tell you that. I know mom's are annoying but your mom knows about life alot more than you do cause she is older. When I was your age I was in college in the northeast partying it up. Looking back I cannot even imagine how unprepared I would have been at that age for a baby, much less a serious relationship! You are in for a handful! And your mom knows this. She cares about you! That's why she is so "unreasonably" protective...You don't give alot of information so I don't know what kind of inconveniences your mom is going through. So I gave you advice for two scenarios. All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): Obviously you should choose your babies father.If you werent pregnant u would choose her but u have your child to think about. Your mother sounds selfish for even asking such a question.Tell her your not choosing anyone but if she decides that she will no longer be in your life thats her choice.That will show how little she cares about.As long as your man treats u good,respects u and loves and will look after u and your unborn child,thats whats important.Mom was never really there anyways in the past. Now u have your own family.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Just keep reinforcing to her that you will not choose between her and your bf. Or if you want to scare her a little, tell her you choose your bf, then pack a bag and stay with your bf or a friend for a couple of days if you can. Maybe she'll realise how unfair she is being and change her way of thinking and actually support you. Best of luck x
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