A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My mother feels that my husband is often selfish, disrespectful and inconsiderate to me. My husband loves me very much and I think overall we are happy and I agree that he could be all of the above at times, but we have a good time toghther most of the time a nd wonderful happy children and I just wish that my mom would not always put my husband under a microscope and analyze everything he does ans says. I'm very close with my parents and it kills me that we argue about this topic for 14 years now! My parents never comment on all the creative, romantic and thoughtful things that my husband does for me and only see his flaws. The hardest thing for me is that I do agree that at times he could be disrespectful and inconsiderate and this is what I'm struggling with right now. My husband knows how I feel and tells me he will work on not speaking this way to me when it happens. I do not know what to do because it has gotten to a point where my mom basically told him today how she does not like him and she told me I made a mistake by marrying him! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 April 2010):
God, that must be hard, having her saying all that for 14 years. And yet here you are, 14 years on, still married to him and still committed. So good for you. I'm not sure what your mother is upto. She could be jealous that you have a good marriage, or she could be just a negative person. If this guy isn't good enough in her eyes, then maybe no guy ever would have been. Keep working hard at your marriage. To be fair, your husband has seen his flaws and is trying to change them, so work at it.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 Stop discussing your marriage and your husband with your mother. If she brings it up, just change subject, and if she insists, tell her you do not wish to talk about that because you feel it's disloyal toward the man that you have chosen and made children with.
Your mother is entitled to have her opinions- but you are not obliged to share them, or even to listen
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 Don't let anyone destroy your happiness. She is entitled to think that way and you don't have to agree with her.
There are things that can change and things that cannot change. Just accept whatever that cannot be changed. (Your mom's bias opinion of your husband)
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