A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My mother in law will offer help and then expect me to say yes... if not her feelings will get so hurt and blame me for being a bad daughter in law and not allowing her to see her son. Me and my husband and 2 kids have been moving around due this his job and everytime we move she will call my husband saying she want to help and she wants to help out putting stuff in our new house, his mom is still young shes 51 and still happily married to my husband step Dad . We hire a company to move our stuff so I really don't need her help and when I told her politely that "its ok we got people that will move everything for us" she got her feelings hurt than his sister will call my husband complaining to him why he told their mom NO cause she cried to her saying that she thinks I'm trying too shut her out from her son's life and that I don't want her to spend anytime with her son. I was so angry I thought she wanted to help NOT spend time with my husband, I know blood is thicker than water but I was hoping she mentioned her grandkids that she wants to spend time with them also since they are her blood too. I wish she would respect my decision and not get too emotional about it. My husband told me to just ignore her and shes having a hard time accepting the fact that he doesn't need her help anymore. My husband called her next day to explain to her that everything is ok.....she cried again saying that she doesn't know him anymore....he grew up and abandoned her and she got no one to take care of anymore ...she'd rather die. I was so shocked cause she was on speaker and why the hell would she say that? my husband's younger sister is married with 5 kids that needed her help why the hell would she only focus on my husband? I swear everytime I tried to get along with her she would say something stupid and dramatic that I just want to slap some common sense to her, is every mother in law act like this? I have no idea how to deal with this woman and everything I said is not good enough for her. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013): One day you too shall be a mother in law ... I'm raising two girls there only five and 23 months at the minute and one handsome 20 year old son .. Now one day I will be a mother I law as well ( scary thinking ) and I hope I'm a good one.If you two move around a lot due to your hubby job then I guess there will be periods when visits to his mum are interceding by moving, settling the kids and your selfs etc and hey that's normal .. I guess that his mum just misses him.. Ain't nothing wrong with that either .I don't understand why you couldn't have said ' yes ' come over you can help us load the car, the kids would love to see you too .. A little welcoming goes a long way..The things she said since are through frustration and not needed .. She just feels little left out .. Here my advice send a little bunch of flowers with a card saying come for tea , we all miss you .. You only have one mother in life and we all make mistakes..Take care and hope the move goes smoothly x
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 August 2013):
 I would from now on let your husband deal with her, he seems QUITE capable.
It's not that she wants to help, she wants to feel needed and apparently she think only her SON can give her that. Hence why she isn't asking the daughter, because if she did.. SHE would have to do stuff, with her SON she think she only have to show up?
Let her cry. If you don't WANT her help, then it IS OK to say no. Don't let her emotionally blackmail you.
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