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My mother has disowned me. Waht can I do?

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Question - (8 January 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 10 January 2008)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

im a young girl that needs help!!!!

my dad left 8 years ago so it has only ever been my mum sisters and brothers but now i have my own flat my mother has disowned me. a big argument kicked of with my sister and her ex in my flat my boyfriend walked out and i went after him and my mother said that i should have stuck up for them even tho it had nothing to do with me

now im not allowed to see my nieces or my twin brothers and i dont know what to do.

i miss the kids so much we was always a close family but now they just walk past me and blank me

i have tried to get in touch but they dont want to know please help x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

sorry that the argument shouldnt be happening in the flat (between my mum and my sisters ex x x

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (10 January 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

can you elaborate? What shouldnt be happening here?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

he was fine he just put his shoes on and said it shouldnt be happening here and went to the pub its his flat aswell as mine so he has a say x x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

they are being very immature and novulant but they have reasons behind it-even if they did disown you. if you relive that night, what was your boyfriend like?

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (9 January 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi again,

They really are being very mean. As I said before let time take its course, you will not be seperated from your nieces and nephews for that long, sooner or later their mum will want a babysitter who is free of charge!

But replay in your mind what happened, if your boyfriend was really mean and nasty to your family they would expect you to stick up for them - they are blood after all, and if you are still with him they may just be waiting for you to split up before they will let you get back in contact.

I know in my family, my older sister had an abusive partner and while she was with him we didnt see her at all. Not that she was shunned, just that my parents didnt want me anywhere near him. I think you need to take a cold hard look at your partner and see what it is about him that your family dislike so much , ask your friends do they share the same view? You have given us little information about him so it is hard to tell , we can only guess. But I think the boyfriend is at the heart of the matter.

If it is still getting to you in a week or so, contact a mutual family friend who can act as peace broker between you all. This way you will get a neutral point of view, but be prepared to accept that you may hear some home truths you dont want to face up to.

Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hi thanks for the advise i have tryed to sort it out with them but they said no the twins are only 7 and my nieces are 3 and 1 i dont want to miss them growing up and just want to see them i have tried to emal them and text but i got nothing back

the other day i saw them across from where i live my mum sister and the twins i waved at one of the twins (as i could not see the other) and tld him to ask mum if he could cross the road to see me she told him no and made him walk straigt past me with out say a thing i was stood on the street in tears and dont know how she can be so cold towards me please help x x

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (8 January 2008):

Collaroy agony auntThey sound very mean and vindictive. If the kids are blanking you I find that hard to believe, that means they have poisoned their minds against their aunt, at such a young age that is despicable.

But time heals all wounds, give it a few weeks then write a letter to your mother and sister, try and look at things from their side and understand how they reacted - then put your point of view across. I cant believe how a mother would disown her daughter over a silly argument.

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A female reader, Lorna.. United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2008):

i think you should give them a little time, im sure they are missing you just as much as you are missing them. if this doesnt work then try sitting them down and talking about it.

good luck

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