A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ive found out very recently my mother has been lying to me, a lot, manipulating me into feeling sorry for her, or saying very negative things about the way other members of our family treat her/ behave. It also turns out she's been saying very negative things about me to other members of my family, things that are totally false such as I've forced her to do things or behaved very selfishly.People have warned me before she drags me down and I often appear very miserable and down after I see her. Ive also found myself very tense etc around her. But I've put it down to various excuses... Now I feel like I cant trust her at all. The things she's said about me are despicable and its opened my eyes to how she really treats me. I feel I cant tell her I know all this because a) ive tried to talk to her about how I feel when she treats me badly before and she has reacted horribly b) the information was given to me by a family member I think it will badly effect if she found out they had told me c) I think it will totally end my relationship with her. I have a very small family and it feels too hard for me to do that.I have dealt with it so far by avoiding her and when I do speak to her I can act normal but I know this isn't a long term solution. Has anyone else dealt with this and how did you cope? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2016): Original poster - I get where your coming from but my mother has just turned 50 and is in perfect health. She's showing no signs of Alzheimers or any other degenerative illness. In fact she seems to by the looks of things know exactly what she's doing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2016): How old is your mother? If she's saying awful things about you, how about telling us exactly what she said? She doesn't just say bad things about you, you said she says negative things about all members of the family.
It is possible she is showing early signs of dementia or Alzheimer's, and may even really believe some of the things she's saying.
If not all that, it just seems she likes to stir up drama and trouble. If you have a small family, everyone should know what she says isn't true. She's an aging woman, how bad can her words hurt you. It doesn't affect your job, it's not publicized on the internet, and it's just passed around the family. She won't be around forever. Now that she's aging, her sting will only weaken with time.
People can find so many reasons to avoid their families and distance themselves from their own flesh and blood. If she's well over sixty, you might want to find a way to get her medically-evaluated; or even suggest to her doctor any signs you see that just don't seem to make any sense.
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