A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am fed up at home. I am 16 so take my GCSE's in the summer and have just done my mocks. The problem is that my mum's expectations for me are huge. apparently I have always been very bright etc. but I am under a lot of pressure with my gcse's. for example the first two mock results i got back were a C in physics (which I think was mistaken and is actually a B but I'm waiting confirmation for that...) and a D in dt. These i was seriously disappointed with but my mum just flipped out. She shouted at me and said that I wasn't going to univ because she wasn't going to pay and I'm not allowed to do A-levels. Also if I want to continue to live here after my gcses then I have to get a job and pay rent. She called me a 'waste of space' and a 'failure'. She has always been very strict with me and still is, she expects me to get 11 A's for my gcses. but because of the way she has treated me I am now fed up with her. I now have motivation to work so hard over the next few months and get the best results possible so that I can laugh in her face and if she still wont let me do my A-levels then I will move out, go and live with my dad in Broadstairs and commute into my school everyday.Please help, because I just don't know what to do anymore. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SweetSixteen +, writes (23 January 2007):
 i just did my gcse's in the summer just gone and i'm currently doing my A levels. i have been given scholorships at 6 different universitys all over the uk for a september entry, at the age of seventeen that means i will be one of the youngest people ever to go to uni.
i'm not saying this to boost, at the age 6 i was diagnosed with a speech inpecament, at 8 i became a registered discleic person and just over a year ago i was diagnosed with ms. i achieved 4 b's 4 c's 2 d's and an e in my gcse's, in my mocks i was bellow a c in every subject. my parents started to give up on me when i was diagnosed with ms. but determination got me to my A levels and got me that space at uni.
i know you want your mums support, but you've got to have confidence in yourself before others can have confidence in you.
remember confidence happens within yourself first and than within others later
Hope i helped SweetSixteen!
A
male
reader, Hughesy28 +, writes (23 January 2007):
Hey. even though ur gcse results r quite important, they are not the b all and end all of ur life. some people say that the school years are the best days of ur life but thats bcoz ur always around ur mates and having a laugh. i think that yes you should revise and make sure u do enough for the exams but i also think that you should relax a bit and chill out, after all it's always better to take test when ur not stressed out. you shouldn't listen to your mum, if you put ur mind to it u can accomplish anything. as long as you sort yourself out and make sure u try to get wat u want out of life, uve got no worries. also, as for having 2 get A's for college and uni, dont be stupid! as long as u have 5 A-C's you can get on most courses at college available and GCSE's don't go towards uni applications. i als think u should stay with ur mum right now, if u did leave her i think that she would be very upset as it seems she care for u alot and maybe to much. just remember that a well paid job and having lots of money aren't the best things in life and don't always make u happy, as long as you make urself happy u can always laugh back at ur mum :).
Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): Waste of space and failure?
Sorry but this post really bothers me. What kind of woman who dares claims she is a Mother would conceive of verbally abusing her child?
I suspect Mom has done this from day one and was abusive and domineering with her husband; your Father and that is why Dad left the marriage.
Mom now puts all this anger, hate, rage, and abuse onto you. How do you survive it all? There is damage and this grieves me.
I say leave the abuse and live with Dad and get Dad to support you.
You can do good and you can overcome and get the grades you want but do it because it is what you want. Not to use as ammunition to toss back in your Mother's face.
Mom won't be happy and turn into the loving Mom you want, desire and needed even if you get the grades. She is a horrible woman to do what she had done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): Sounds like Mom came from an abusive home as a child as she is now an abuser towards you.
Hypercritical parents find fault in almost everything their child does-the way he talks the way he looks, the way he interacts with others, his schoolwork, his choice of friends. As taken from Beverly Engels' The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, page 71.
I recommend getting this book for you to read and to work through. I also recommend you get some individual counselling so you have someone to speak to and who will want to listen and support you-clearly Mom is not able to do this and how unfortunate.
You do the best you want to do. You do it for yourself. You are not of an age where you are in control of your future.
Mom can either learn this truth and get counselling as the truth may upset her world. *rollseyes*
Or she can believe she controls your life and be shocked when you move on in life without her as her abuse will only serve to alienate you from her.
Best of wishes and stay in touch; we would like to hear how you are doing.
*wink*
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (22 January 2007):
 Kick those exam's ass dude!! I remember GCSEs. My parents put quite a lot of pressure on me too I remember, not like your mum though. Seriously, just ignore what her expectations are from you. You know what you're capable of so just work hard at it. Get some high grades, get some good A-levels, go to uni (dont get involved in the dark side of it all!!!) and get a kick ass job! Its within your reach, this is the first major step. Ignore your ma's rants for now. She can say what she likes, you know its not true. Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (22 January 2007):
 You're at an age where conflict with your parents is extremely common and, quite often, this conflict is about silly things like grades that don't really matter that much. Whether you get As, Bs or Cs in your exams theyre still passes and as long as you've tried your best you should feel proud. Maybe you could ask your Dad to speak to her? Or another coping strategy I had with my mother when I couldn't do anything right was to listen to what she said then look her in the eye and say "Yeah, you're right" Somehow it always leaves them speechless.
CD
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (22 January 2007):
 Your stressed and angry with your Mum. Right now I think the best thing for you to do is to stay with your mum for a while, until you finish your GCSE's you can only do your best and the pressure your mum is putting on you is unfair, bit believe me when i say your not the only one in this position, or who has ever been in this position. Your mum wants you to have a god job and a good future, she maybe doesn't realise how her words have effected you. If you feel you can, try and speak to her about it, tell her your doing the best you can and that the extra pressure from her isn't helping. There is no reason why you couldn't do your A levels and then go to uni. Try and relaxed because the more stressed you are then the worse you are going to be at revising bevause your mind won't be fully on the job. Please try and speak to your mum i'm sure you and her will feel a lot better when you have.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Abacadaba +, writes (22 January 2007):
 Ive been in the same shoes, heres your motivation, proving your mother wrong. I didnt do that, and im stuck in a dead end job, only been there 3 months and i want out, take the chance while its there, give yourself the best possible outlook in life, just knuckle down at school, mess around with your mates out of school, and MAKE SURE YOUR REVISE WHEN THE TESTS ARE CLOSE, i could have got all A-C's if i had revised, and i didnt, so i got stuck with 4 C's and rest below, seriously mate, do it while you can, you wont regret it.
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