A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I need advice involving my relationship with my mum.I find it hard to respect someone when they dont respect me. For example, last night while watching tv, we were having a casual conversation about my degree when out of the blue my mum says "why couldn't your boyfriend do the blinds? He's so stupid" (here, she's referring to something that happened over 6 months ago). After defending him and soon leaving, I go to my room. I dont see her the next day and go out to a party and stay over. The morning after my mum tells me off for not texting her saying that I wasn't coming home that night and then angrily explains to me that my reason for not texting is because "you just can't handle the truth about him". We have an argument and she kicks me out. I'm at the moment unwillingly and embarrassingly sleeping round my friends house.I'm very confused. I've told my mum that she really offended me but instead I get told I have an attitude problem. That's her reason for everything. Me.How can I get through to her? I've tried before telling her how unhappy I feel and instead she blows up and screams at me. Please dont suggest moving out, that won't solve how Ive been treated like crap. I want to feel loved, wanted, useful. I'm tried of being a punch bag. How can I make her see my side? I've seriously suggested counselling because I'm at a loss and scared but they weren't willing.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rezidor  +, writes (3 September 2013):
 I agree with comments that your mom loves you. At the teenagers ages you fell yourselves different.
When you will mom you will do the same. At this moment you can say “No, I will bring up my children not as my mom”. It is a low of our life. You mom is not a professional pedagogue, and she also is in stress. Maybe she does not know how to solve this problem. Just a question to you, what do you want to get as a final result?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2013): Daughters and mothers! You're growing up and wanting it your way, but living in her house.
Detail more about how she is using you like a punching bag and all.
She's not going to suddenly turn into Mary Poppins; even if you both got counseling.
She is who she is. You just have to try to get along.
She's going to pull the mum-card in every argument, and she will kick you out for mouthing off when you know you're wrong; or she feels you're disrespectful. She has the upper-hand; so you have to handle things with some diplomacy.
You wrote because you love her, and want to get along. There seems to be one thing standing in your way.
It's a guy.
She doesn't approve and probably has good reason. You know all her reasons; but only gave us a tidbit of information.
What is it that she doesn't like about him? It's not just about the blinds. She thinks he has no ambition. She thinks you could do better.
You angrily walked out on her, and left her to worry.
Even if you lived with a roommate, there would be house-rules and you'd have to comply. Well, she's the landlady and major bread-winner; and she's going to reinforce her power in her own home. It's her domain.
I don't believe she's treating you like crap. She doesn't like your boyfriend(s) and she wants you to concentrate on school. As long as you live in her house, she's the boss.
Explain how she is being such a terrible person to you, and give us a rundown on who this guy is.
...............................
|
