A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He and I became friends after working together for an *online cause*. We were just FRIENDS, but we did joke and tease with each other over the fact that I was attracted to him and he knew it. In any case, there was never anything sexual there and to this day there hasn't been. And if there were, or if the guy pressured me for information/photos/etc, that would have been the end of it--I've been through that before and will NOT go through it again. By all means, I realize that he may not be who he says he is. Eventually, I flat out told my mom about him before she found out herself. I figured that I could at least put things into context, rather than coming home one day only to find out that my mom was on a mission to castrate some kid for simply having some online company.I knew that if my mom ever got into my e-mail account and saw the e-mails we sent each other, she would think that there was something more than what was going on. She would think that we were in a relationship. Why? Because he's affectionate, he writes me sometimes to ask how I'm doing, he writes cutsey hearts in some of his notes, etc--sure, so we flirt with each other. I let her read ALL of the e-mails (and I explained everything) and she thinks that I'm in love with him! For christ's sake, I'm never going to meet the guy, never write him letters or send him things, never talk to him on the phone, never go on a date with him, never kiss him, never get a ring from him, none of that--and she thinks I am in LOVE with him! I could care less who the he sleeps with, for one thing! IT IS NOT A ROMANTIC THING!So here's my dilemma--Her absurdity has gone so far gone that she and him are speaking on the phone tomorrow about the whole thing! He is in agreement with me and wants to ALSO try and make it clear that there's nothing romantic here.He and I have made it clear with each other that we're just friends. Sometimes our conversations got a bit flirty, and after a while, one of us would usually tell the other, "love having you as a friend" or something like that, for the sake of a reality check.I am not worried about the conversation that they are going to have tomorrow. I think that will be fine. My concern is, how do I explain to my mom that I have no romantic feelings for him aside from being attracted to him? She makes it sound like the fact that I care about being able to talk to him means that I MUST be in love with him. --if that is the case, I'm in love with all of my friends, teachers, and neighbors, too. Hell, I'm romantically in love with my freaking dog in that event. What do I do? Is there anything particular that I can do to make this clear to her? HELP!--and before anyone decides to respond WITHOUT helping, and instead decide to lecture me, here's one critical fact:I'm 17. The age of consent in my state is 16. EVEN IF he ended up being an adult, he would have committed no crime. Additionally there is no sexual relationship to convict him on behalf of in the first place! So, no lectures on the "what ifs", please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): Your mom is obviously scared that you might land yourself in some trouble with some weird guys online. She may be a little paranoid but it shows that she cares for you. Even if there's really nothing romantic going on with the two of you, its still ok for your mom to get to know your friends right? Obviously you don't have much choice but to let your mom talk to him to convince herself that you're safe. Its not you whom she doesn't trust but its the online guy. Don't get too worked out about this issue and relax.
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