A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there!Well, I have a problem ... I tell you:Three years ago, I was a girl who disliked school, who didn't like anything except laughing,I was 12... But when I was 14 , my life has changed and I discovered that I liked a lot of things like the studies, the U.S, reading and a lot of other things.This year I got the best results in my class and I made a score of 27/30 and 39/40 at my English exams.I have a big problem which is maybe ruining my dream. I heard my mother on several occasions that I would go to a school near my house.A few people of my family studied there.Me, what I want,is America!I attempt to drag my ambitions in the conversation but when my mother hears that I pronounce the words "America" and "studies" or "Expatriate" she gets mad.My fear is that at the next "studies' meeting", she looks for documentation for this famous school, and to be stuck.What should I do?I would like to have your opinion on the question.Some advices, disagreements, agreements, help, experience, and more!Thanks!PS: sorry for the writting,it's late here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you think that the best think to do is waiting? I think I'm gonna look for information about the schools in the U.S I love and don't tell it to my mom.Waiting till my majority and trying to make my dream come true.And if she talks about this famous school near my house,I'll try to be calm.But if she talks about it everyday,I'll talk to my sister-in-law then because she's the person I trust the most.Do you think it's a good idea?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell,I was really happy when I saw your advices :D But,just some hours ago,my mom was talking to me about this school near my house.I was so upset and I told her that I don't want to go there.I told her that "I don't know why I try to have the best grades,to give the best of myself if I can't realize my dreams".She said that when I'll be 18,I'll take my bags and go away...I don't know if she said that to afraid me or if it was real.But the thing is that she always told us that we can do what we really want to do.I didn't know who I am now,what I love and if dreams exist.It took a year to look for information and talk with professors and alumni.I did that for nothing?! I'm lost...my mother ruins my dreams.I want that my Mom take a part in my choices,to have her opinion about which American school is better than another one.But,it's not real.
Please help me!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (3 September 2008):
Well since you are only a child then you have to do what your parents say. However, you can always go to university in America when you are old enough to support yourself.
Can you speak to your teacher before the development meeting and explain the situation? The teacher may be able to help you to convince your mother that America may be a better opportunity.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): When I was your age I was offered a place at a very good school by a generous uncle which would have meant leaving home and boarding - leaving family and friends behind. My parents gave me the choice although i could tell my mother desperately did not want me to go - she would be losing her little girl. Whilst they did not pressure me they did not fully encourage me to better myself and I ended up staying at the very average school I was used to with all my so-called (I realise now) friends around me. My point is.... I regret it. You seem like a balanced person who is able to see opportunities and know what you want. Your problem is that you are not necessarily at an age where you can strike out on your own and so there is this conflict. You have a couple of options. Go along with your mothers wishes for now but develop your plan for education or a life in America later or when your age allows you. Sit down with her and explain (maybe write it down to help) what you feel and why this is so important to you. By being mature in your approach she will take you more seroiusly. She is resisting this because it is the start of her losing 'control' over you and you wanting to become an adult. This is normal for her and frustrating for you. You can still have your plan and American dream but it might take a few more years for you to reach it - such as when or if you wish to study for a degree. Whatever happens do not lose your ambition and dreams.
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