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Is it selfish and petty that he stopped speaking to me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 September 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 3 September 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I split up with my long term boyfriend a few months ago. and he just asked one of his friends, who I became quite good friends with over the course of our relationship and now we like to keep in touch every now and then on a simple level, just a phone call every now and then or a txt/meet for a coffee (nothing romantic, he has a gf) to stop talking to me. Is this reasonable? I find it quite selfish and petty... Perhaps I should just let it go cos its a loyalty thing...? Just a shame I have to lose a friend, for what seems like, no good reason.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008):

Is it selfish, yes. Is it petty? Probably not. You guys were in a long-term r'ship, and you split up. After a few months, your bf is probably at that point where the initial grieving was over, the hope of getting back together is past, and now he just feels like he needs to somehow cast you out of his life, b/c it's been months, and you're still ... EVERYWHERE. Because that's how it feels when a long-term r'ship ends. So he wants his friend to cut off contact, b/c he wants his friends to stay his.

It sucks that friends get partitioned in break-ups. Let it play out. In 6-12-24 months, maybe things will have healed, and you guys can be friendly again. Maybe not. Maybe by then it won't matter. In the mean time, it'll suck, but that's what break-ups generally do. They suck.

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