A
female
age
30-35,
*ountrygal462
writes:recently my mom divored my stepdad. and that ok. but in the middle of august she went on a trip for her work and on the way back she met a guy. i guess they got long. but the thing is.. that hes married. apprently arent going well for him an dhis wife. but i have hated this relationship. and my mom sneaks around with him after she said she would tell me. i totally get that shes an adult, but at the same tim, she thinks its ok to do whatever she wants when in reality, she still has gotta take care of me. its agrevatting. i sometimes read her text messages and they say i love you. plus they had sex and they didnt know eachother for even a month yet. she moving way to fast and she dosent care what effect it has on me. i have been through too much in my life that a 15 yr old shouldnt have go through. how can i deal with this? she brings him over in the middle of the night and i feel it invades my safe place. my place. without that cushion, i feel i have no place that is safe. what do i do? im upset alll the time and im abput to expload at my mom again!!!!!!!!!!! help me please!!!!!!!
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female
reader, countrygal462 +, writes (10 October 2009):
countrygal462 is verified as being by the original poster of the question i recently told my brother and i have told my boyfriend. thank you guys soo much. :)
my mom and are a a lil better now. shes been talking to me more and i talked to the guy. im a little better with him, but still uneasy. but its still good.
thanks again : )
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009): Kiddo, just because your mom won't talk to her family about this doesn't mean that *you* can't. People who are in your life in the real world are far better able to help you than strangers on the internet, but first they have to know you need help.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 October 2009):
Sounds like your mum is actually a very unhappy lady. Maybe ask her how she feels and why she feels she has to sneak around when she knows it hurts you. Also, maybe speak to someone at school so you can get all those feelings out of you.
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A
female
reader, countrygal462 +, writes (3 October 2009):
countrygal462 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys. try and stick with me. im sorry. i didnt realize i typed so much. please and thank you all!!!
my mom has not told anyone in my family about this guy. because of her history with guys. shes been married 4 times. and shes tired of being judged. but she brought that upon herself. im not trying to dis on my mom, but thats what i think. i love my mom, but whenever shes says anything about him, i cant help but feel horrible. i always feel miserable. and if i try and talk to her, i get really angry and yell. last night, she invited the guy over and she said hed be here for few minutes and he was here from 12:45 to 2:45. she told he was going to stay till 3:30. and i got angry and made her make him leave. she said he was going to take nap. im sry, but i dint want that in this house.
happytochat: i have not seen or spoken to my father since i was little. he was a nasty man. i talk to my boyfriend about it and i go to a pschyciatrist(sorry if thats spelled wrong)
Caringguy: i have talked to my mom before. but it seems she does ok few little bit, but then starts to sneak around. i dnot know what else to do.
oldguy: my mom is the only girl from my grandparents. and she wont talk to anyone about this. im practically lying to my family.
im sorry to drag all this on. but there is more, but ill write them another time. thank you so much if u stuck with this message. ive had so much drama hit in the past few months. thank you soo much.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (3 October 2009):
You have every right to feel safe in your own home. Your mother should not be putting you in this position. She shoudlnt be bringing guys home who she hasnt known for a long time. Especially not with a teenage daughter.
You need to tell another trusted adult how you feel. You could try talking to her, but no doubt probably wont listen. Where is your dad? Do you have contact with him? You could try talking to him as he is in part responsible for your welfare. Aunty? Uncle? Teacher? Friends parent? School counsellor/guidance officer? You need to tell someone. Please seek help.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 October 2009):
I think you need to sit down with your mum and tel her how you feel. You can't make her give this guy up, but she can at least be more careful and make sure she spends time with you as well. If you don't want to talk to her, maube talk to someone at school?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009): It's perfectly reasonable that you're upset. While it's fair that your mother gets on with her life, she should do it in a way that leaves you with your home intact, as the sanctuary that you need and deserve.
It sounds like your mother is getting carried away, that she feels like a teenager again. Are there relatives you can talk to? Does you mother have a sister (i.e. your aunt) or a mother (i.e. your grandmother) that you can talk to about this? Your mother needs a swift kick in the behind, something one of her relatives would surely deliver if you told them how unhappy you are.
If there are no close relatives, talk to a guidance counsellor at your school.
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