A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello.This is a bit of a complicated question.I am currently in college studying to be a nurse. It's a great job and it's needed everywhere, but I just don't love doing it at all. I have volunteered and taken most of the prerequisites to get into the program, but I just can't get into the major or job. It's not fun for me and I am extremely unhappy with it. I don't want to be a nurse.I am Asian, so you can gauge how pressured I am by my family to do well in school. My father passed away when I was young, so my mom has been slaving herself for years trying to get me into a good college/etc. We come from a very poor family. So being one of the first to go to college, the least I can do for her is be a nurse [something she's always wanted me to do.] But now that I'm getting taking the classes I need, I am hesitant to continue.I do not fit the stereotypical Asian. I am not extremely gifted in math or science, although I'm pretty okay with both [through hard work] I am still struggling with chemistry and other various subjects. As of now, I'm barely passing my classes.However, I am extremely gifted at writing creatively. I have won awards for creative writing from school and small contests and I have had some poetry published in magazines.I want to major into English and that's a problem. Even if I were to publish a book, there's no guarantee it would sell well. I thought I could maybe get a job at a publishing company where I could edit and read manuscripts, drafts, etc., but those jobs are so scarce that I'm not sure if the risk is enough. If I majored into English, I would not make as much money as I would had I finished nursing.But I think I'd be happier in my job with writing, even with the pay cut.I tried telling my mom that I hate nursing and the classes and I don't want to do it. She flipped out and I don't blame her. It's hard to explain that it's something that makes me happy when all our lives we've lived poorly. All she wants for me is a good life with a stable money flow. I don't know what to do.This is a strain on me and my relationship with my mother, as well as my schooling. I would like a third opinion on this please.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 March 2013):
 If you don't want to be a nurse, then don't be a nurse.
My concern is how will you make your living writing? I have a friend who writes for a non-profit organization so I know that there are jobs out there that you can get.
You can write a book on the side (nights and weekends) but you need a JOB to support yourself.
What you should do is find jobs that pay in the field you are interested in and go to your mother with a well prepared outline of what jobs are available and how you can support yourself doing something you love vs a job you will hate to go to.
I think nursing is a great career and profession and I am very grateful to all the men and women who find nursing to be their dream job. I could not do it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013): Honestly, as a fellow nursing student, with a family full of nurses. IF you aren't into being a nurse to help people and because you want to, then it's not going to last long.
Yes, it pays well, but if your hearts not in it then it just won't work.
Your mom should understand. This is your life and you have to live it, you only get one chance to do what you want with your life. Do you want to give that up to please your mom?
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (20 March 2013):
 i can honestly relate to this exact situation almost perfectly. i graduated with a degree in psychology back in 2006. since then i have been unable to find a well paying job. my parents really pushed me to get back into school and get a degree in nursing just like your mom. the motivation being the exact same as hers; it provides good money and a stable life. thing was, i decided it wasn't for me, either. i took the prerequisites and decided it wasn't what i wanted to do with my life.
when i told my parents how i felt and that i no longer wanted to be in the program, my mom literally didn't speak to me for almost six months. it hurt really badly. it made me feel like a failure and a let down. it honestly crushed me. now i'm deciding to get back into school and am pursuing my masaters in counseling. the money may not be quite as good but almost. but the job security is not as good as nursing, but it's not bad, and it's doing what i love.
slowly my mom began speaking to me again and has come around. i still think she wishes i'd stuck with the nursing program. but either way, it's my life and it's my decision in the end. sure, my parents got a say in the matter. i love them and respect them. but they don't get to dictate what's best for me in the end. only i get to make those types of final decisions.
i have a feeling your mom may be the same way as mine at first. it's possible she will continue to flip out and even do what my mom did and not speak to you. but she will come around. i assure you. it's just that parents have this odd way of showing they care. she's not mad AT you. she is just worried and wants the best for you. she wants to know that you'll do well for yourelf and be completely self-sufficient in life. it helps them rest easy at night. sometimes parents just have an odd way of showing their love.
good luck to you and i am an advocate of going with your heart and doing what you're passionate about. as long as there is a job to be had once you graduate, i see no real issue with changing degrees.
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