A
male
age
30-35,
*sianguy
writes:So I’m an Asian guy and recently I met this guy, the first time I saw him I was like: omg, who the hell is this gorgeous guy? The second time we talked for 1 or 2 minutes and I didn’t even know his name, but his accent showed he comes from England. I hit the gym with 2 other England guys, I always find them handsome but comparing to him, they become too normal. He’s really tall and ripped, sweet smile and fashionable. I met him a day after at a bar, we went out, sat down in the dark corner by the river introducing and talking. The conversation went good cos writing is the career of his and mine. he softly tried to kissed me, always started from the cheek and slowly moved to my lips but he got turned down 4 or 5 times. He asked me if I could take him home, I said no cos I promised to a friend I was going to give her a lift. I think he wanted to hook up with me. My friend left early so I text him saying I could take him home(innocently) then I received a text him saying he got home and told we should have a coffee sometime and wished me have a goodnight. I didn’t text him back. I hear a lot of story about Asian guys selling out their dignities just to be with a white guy by that they look down on us. So when he showed that he’s interested in me, I’m afraid to believe in reality. And the last white guy I hooked up with was straight, he was just so curious and his curiosity hurt me so badly. We tried to be friends, it wasn't successful, we become hateful. I don’t wanna follow in my failed footsteps cos I broke down.A bit about me, I’m also tall and good looking. I usually turn people down when they don’t meet my discretion standard. So I’ve been lonely for so long and forgot how tender lips are. I don’t regret the way I reacted as he’s the guy I wanna date, not to hook up.‘ve been think abt him all these days but when I met him today, I ignored him pretending I didn’t c him but the last minute. I still wait for his coffee, how can I let him know I’m also interested and not straight as he might think?
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (20 March 2013):
 Lol my girlfriend says the same thing. That she can't flirt. Which I'm not complaining about.
But you can do little things like respond to his texts when he messages you rather than ignoring him. If I texted a girl and she didn't respond I would assume she wasn't interested and give up. Also, make plans with him. Ask him to hang out. Or if he asks you to hang out, go. And if you are busy that day, arrange for another day. Hell, you can even kiss him. Next time he goes in for a kiss, kiss him back. What's it gonna hurt? That's no big deal. Also, be a bit more physically affectionate. Find subtle ways to touch him. Nothing dramatic, but a gentle grab on the arm, or touch his leg if he makes you laugh. Something small like that. Those are definite cues.
A
male
reader, asianguy +, writes (20 March 2013):
asianguy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks llifton. i think he already thinks i'm not interested right now and how can i change it? yeah yeah what kind of encouragement i have to give him to make he want me more?. i haven't dated anyone for years, i don't know how to flirt!!!Two other things i'm afraid about are that he might be out to his friends when i'm not out to anyone Or he might be another bi curious guy and i don't want to be an experiment. my feelings are sincere :(
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (20 March 2013):
i'm pretty sure he can already tell you're not straight, as that's why he went in for the kiss in the first place.
i understand where you're coming from about not just wanting a hook up from him. but at the same time, you don't want to give the impression you're not interested at all, do you?
give him some leeway. don't sleep with him of course, and you can keep up the hard-to-get act, but also give him at least a little bit of encouragement to keep him wanting more!
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