A
female
age
30-35,
*uggles
writes:Recently my mum has been under huge amounts of stress from work and the legal issues my dad has cause. Increasingly, I find that I've become her emotional punching bag for every big or small issue she has. Today, I wasn't standing up straight in the kitchen and she freaked out! When she tried to correct my posture by jabbing her fingers into my back, I said it was sore. Apparently I've developed and attitude and she thinks its disrespectful. My best friend just got home from a tour I would liked to have gone on but didn't because I felt it was financially a problem and I wasn't invited. Suddenly, I've become sulky and rude because I didn't go on the tour and I'm feeling sorry for myself.Later on my Step dad starts suggesting that I have this "attitude" because I was wondering what I would have done with my dad today. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind! Then I say that when I go to school tomorrow, I won't hear the end of the stories about the tour. It will bother me! So now I've been victimised because I wanted to go on a tour? I didn't quite understand what was going on... I knew my family couldn't afford it and also my dad wouldn't have payed! It happened before. My mom got super aggro with me and started screaming at me and blaming me for the fact that her father walked out (which mine did as well) and that I cost her large amounts of money on a house we bought and live in because I said I liked it. What can I do?
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female
reader, van1llabeeen87  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 It sounds like they have a lot of anomosity for your real dad and it is majorly spilling out on to you when they interact with you. I agree with the other reader that answered here--Can you call your real dad and possibly stay with him? This environment sounds extremely unhealthy for you and can really take it's toll on you later in life. If you can't stay with your real dad, are there any extended family members that you can live with??
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): My mum did this with a boyfriend when I was your age and I never forgave her!
She had this boyfriend who couldn't stand me and my 'attitude' everything I did was wrong and he managed to convince my mum the same.
Sounds to me like you said, your the scapegoat because your mum can't be bothered taking responcability for her own actions and she resents you for coming between her and her precious husband.that's what it was with my mum and I'm pretty sure its the case with yours.
I'd say tell her straight but then she will only give you some crap about 'attitude' blah blah blah.
So I suggest you do one of two things...
1) Call your dad up and ask to go stay with him- he may not be the monster your mother has painted him as if you explain what's going on.
2) Call up a close friend who could put you up for the summer, if you choose this option then get a summer job so you can pay your friends parents a small amount so they won't begrudge you being there.
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