A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been pretty close friends with a guy for a couple of months (friendly aquaintance for 6 months before then) and I really care about him as a person as well as being attracted to him. He knows that I like him, and while he's never made a move I'm pretty sure he likes me and is just really romantically awkward. More on that later.Things got majorly complicated between us 2 weeks ago when we went on a camping trip with a bunch of our friends and I discovered kind of rudely through my other friends and watching it unfold before my eyes that this chick (not a friend of mine) had offered to sleep with him NSA since she was transferring to a different university for summer quarter in a few weeks. It was totally unexpected, because we'd been spending quite a bit of time together and talking a lot and I was expecting that we would take things to the next level on this trip. Instead, he almost totally spurned me for his booty call. But that first night before they slept together, when I still didn't know what was going on, there was a weird moment where he turned to me with this really serious look and said "Ask and you shall recieve". I didn't know what he was talking about, but from talking to friends later and thinking about it, I gathered that he was still deciding who he was going to sleep with, and he wanted me to ask for it. I didn't, and they slept together for the duration of the trip and the rest of the week and the week after that. Things have been really awkward between me and my friend ever since. We have texted a little bit, and I said I was sorry I acted like an idiot (I ignored him, wouldn't look at him or talk to him the rest of the trip) and he said I wasn't an idiot, he was. I don't know if this means he regrets hooking up with that other chick, or regrets how he treated me, or both. I don't know if he's still interested in moving forward and I don't know that I want to, after the way he played with my feelings. But I can't stand it being so painfully awkward between us. We can't even carry on a normal conversation anymore, and before this happened we could talk for hours with no uncomfortable silences. Part of me wants to have a serious conversation with him about what happened, and talk about how we both treated each other, and part of me wants to pretend it didn't happen at all. The latter is kind of how I've been dealing, and it's not working very well. The booty call chick has just left town a few days ago, and I know they were together right until the end. Should I wait a while longer before I try talking to him, or is it important to fix things as soon as I can? When we were still on the trip, he said we needed to have an important conversation before we could move forward, but we never did. I'm almost ready to give up on him, but I value his friendship so much that I have to hang on if there's any chance of salvaging it. I still have romantic/sexual feelings for him too, but that is a whole 'nother issue at this point. Not sure how relevant this is, but on the trip I also had a one night stand with a different guy (basically because I was having a horrible time and I wanted to feel better), which we kept a secret. I'm not really interested in pursuing anything with him though.Thanks for reading, and I appreciate all insights and suggestions very much!
View related questions:
booty call, one night stand, text, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): sex can be complicated. but if you two still like each other, then eventually this will all blow over. all that is needed is time, an open discussion about it, and no blaming. if you both want it, then it will happen, but right now im sure both of you are blaming the other for not fulfilling each others needs and allowing someone else to get in the way.
this could be the cause of arguments, or if your both adult enough, you could realize that those other people were only a surrogate for your true feelings and needs.
but first you two have to talk about it like grown ups and see if you can get past it.
|
