A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i am a 36 year old woman and i have been in a new job for 12 months. I absolutely love it after being at home for 6 years with my children. I have been with my partner for 17 years, reasonably happy. I have met a 54 year old married man at work who i feel completely connected to. He makes the effort to talk with me everyday and when i asked him to meet for coffee he said yes. I gave him my phone number but he has not called and that was a month ago. What is his story? I feel confused as to what it is he wants. The more i get to know him the more attracted i feel for him. What do i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): YES good on him, do you know the upset it causes to life when people have affairs, yes he may be friendly, and probably agreed to coffee but deep down he hasn't phoned you so take the hint and move on and let his marriage stay intact, you will only end up with a broken heart and lots of guilt, he will end up with lots of guilt and a whole lot off pain and heartache. I am glad that he has not phoned you, tells me he is not that interested in you or you would have heard straight away from him. Keep your feelings for a single available man and let him live his life with his family in peace. I have been in this position and it is hard not to be nice to a woman when she is passing details of herself and making it obvious that she likes you and yes it is flattering but the last thing some men need is a woman putting herself forward when it is the last thing you really need or want, but are just to nice to put them in their place. Affairs are grubby and seedy and never have a good outcome just read all the other letters on this site.Leave well alone and good on this man for not calling you back but still reamaining friendly with a female collegue.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): this man deserves a pat on the back!!!
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A
female
reader, happy24birthday  +, writes (4 February 2009):
 I can't tell you what his story is cuz I know several men who act the same way and I don't know why. One is doing it to me. Your other question of what do you do - run as far from him as you can. It's hard but you will be so much better off for it. Please trust someone who is still living it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): If he is interested in you, he will get back to you, maybe he felt guilty about his wife and decided not to go for it with you.
Hope you find this helpful.
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