A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My married lover is not happy in his marriage because he said that his wife isn't affectionate or loving towards him and that he is staying in the marriage because he loves his 2 children and doesn't want them to suffer from a broken marriage, but he says that he loves me.Is he lying? and is using me just for sex only? We are in contact on a daily basis through emails and we only meet up say twice a month.Can a married man be torn apart between his family set up and his mistress?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): I do believe that he may really love you. Read the response from Anonymous on Sept. 22. That is an honest response from a man. I think some women are quick to judge and say that he is a liar and that he is only using you, but I believe that if you are in love with him that you can tell if he is being honest with you, or just using you. Not all men who cheat are the same, and not all affairs are the same either. I am a married woman in a bad marriage in love with a married man. I have asked him for us to leave and be together, but he won't leave his kids, mine are grown. I know he wants to be with me, but he would rather stay than to hurt his children. I believe that 100% because I know how much he loves them. And as much as this hurts me, somehow I understand and respect him for it. So yeah, a married man can be torn and really love you but not be able to leave.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): You're me 15 years ago. Same thing he told me. Dump him. Is it more attentive and kinder to you than any other guy you know? Do you rarely argue if never? He treats you like the luckiest girl in the world right? No tension so on and so on? He has to in order to retain an advantage over his disadvantage which is that he knows he's never going to leave his wife for you but he has to hold on to you somehow. Sucker for Love??? It's not worth it. If you were, he would be with you and not his wife. Why buy the milk when you get it for free? Aren't you worth even a mere penny?
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female
reader, missjones118  +, writes (28 October 2010):
i think a man gone do what a man want to do.hes chesatin because he want too.
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female
reader, missjones118 +, writes (15 October 2010):
well im dating a man married .. hes 33 and im 20 .. well is see him almost everyday. we have sex seem like everyother day. i falling in lover with him.. but i dont know if he feel the the same about me. he have 3 children and hes been married for 6 yrs and im his second affair!!never the less i have spoke to his wife many differwnt times.. but she Dont know who i am,..i just seen her wed. she have no clue.. however ppl gone call u a home recker and everything above.. but u not making him cheat on her nor u not putting a gun to his head!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): I have to disagree with the other posters. I'm a married man in love with another woman. I see her when I can and I think about her non-stop when I can't.
I have children as well and that is, without a doubt, the thing that keeps me married. I have researched this issue to death - whether children are better off with both parents in the home when the parents are unhappy or in a divorced family where each parent is happy - and the opinions are all over the place. I have concluded that my children would be devastated if I left their mother and broke up their home. I am selfish, yes, but not that selfish.
So yeah, I'm staying married because of my children. If my relationship with the other woman can last a few more years until the children are grown, I will leave my wife, no doubt about it. If it can't last, then I guess I'll be the one with the broken heart. I will not hurt my children.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): he will tell you whatever you want to hear.
-LoveGirl
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): only end in tears break free of him now he will never leave his wife and sees you twice a month you deserve better than that find someone that is avaialble not married not fair on his wife find someone that can love you and see you all the time not just twice a month i bet he dont see you xmas days either does he no hes with his kids thats why......move on hun....
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female
reader, Cheeks +, writes (6 September 2010):
 I would guess he's saying what he thinks you want to hear to keep you available for sex. And his wife probably isn't as distant or uninterested (bitchy) with him as he's lead you to believe. Otherwise I would think he would be able to sneak away more than just twice a month to see you. Or perhaps you're not the only mistress? As for truly loving you...who's to say he doesn't? But it's more likely he loves what you do for him. Yeah, you're special but keeping his family whole means more than being with you. Good luck.
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female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (6 September 2010):
 why would you want to ruin someone's marriage? How incredibly selfish.
Did you know that a lot of the time the married person lies about how their marriage is. they use terms of "my wife is crazy" "my wife isn't affectionate" "my marriage is failing" when in reality he's probably doing it with you and his wife.
I think this man is using you for extra sex. I think you need to back off and let him fix his marriage. Don't be the other woman. Why would you want a married man anyway? Think about it...if he cheats for you, he'll probably cheat on you someday.
I know this message was harsh, but it drives me nuts that people go for married people. I'm only 22 and never been married or in this situation personally but my parents were. You are not thinking about anyone else involved but the two of you.
Coming from a broken family, parents divorced over a lady coming into my dad's life. You have no idea how this will effect everyone else around their lives. Dating married men is a selfish act, you are hurting other people's lives and helping someone cheat. I think everyone can agree that cheating is wrong.
Do you realize by helping this man cheat you are hindering them to rekindle their marriage and work on their issues. Put yourself in the other lady's shoes...would you want your husband cheating instead of working things out??
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): First of all, if hes married and hes seeing another woman, then hes basically already lying [to his wife], so who's to say that he cant lie to you? No matter what, his children are being affected by this. If they know their parents are unhappy with each other then its probably making them sad. What if they find out about you? If hes really unhappy then he should divorce. He would still be able to see his children and his kids wouldnt have to live in a unhappy environment. Most married men having affairs say that their marriage means nothing to them, so if it means nothing to them, why stay? My bet is that he is using you. You said that he and his wife dont have sex, is that the only reason? Do you two have an emotional relationship as well? If you dont, then hes using you for sex.
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