A
female
age
41-50,
*nswer
writes:I have posted a question 3 months ago about my married lover cutting all the ties off with me and I suspected him moving on to some other girl. But now I know the reason why he cut all the ties off with me ( we had a dicussion when I come to know that he is leaving his job).its not a new girl, its his new job. His career aspirations. He has decided that he would be moving out in sometime, and when I said am really emotional about him, he knew i cant able to take it when heis not there. I would be totally devastated. thats why he decided to stop everything for ME, for my wellbeing. He was not happy either, but in our situation ( we both are married and didnt want to upset our personal lives)that was the best solution. He thought about me, my feelings, my emotions. he didnt want me to suffer. he didnt want me to cry and disturb my life because he is not there. Now he is leaving the job next week. I cant see him every day, meet him,talk to him. now that we are not in contact with each other other than office,I cant even know anything about him. its like we both are dead for each other. am crying, totally depressed. its effecting everything, personal life, work, health. When I think about the beautiful moments we spent together and now he is no more in my life.( every corner of that office, my place reminds all those small fights, talks, sharings so ... many )What to do, should I ask him to be stay connected with me, will he accept? how can I forget him. Please please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2012): you are at a crossroads now. make the decision to either move on from him (every break up is like this, not just you) or re-examine your marriages if you should end them to be together.
however it looks like he has already made his decision which is to move on from you. he already started the process of moving on by withdrawing from you. it was very rude of him not to tell you. It's totally wrong to think that keeping secrets from you and simply treating you different was somehow 'protecting' your feelings. I mean, it's not a normal relationship of any sort when there used to be a certain level of mutual involvement then suddenly one party disappears and avoids the other without any explanation. You don't do that to people whether they be friends, co-workers, romantic partners. He did it not to save your feelings but because he's a coward and wanted to save HIS feelings since he's scared to see you cry and get upset.
therefore I suspect he's already started the process of moving on from you emotionally, so you need to do the same. it will be hard initially but don't worry you WILL get over him if you give yourself time and DO NOT stay in contact with him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): I think he is lying to you about hurting your feelings I think he is just bored with you
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 December 2012):
 Only time will heal this loss...
You are married
he is married
it's really better this way.
day by day you will heal slowly but you have to be open to it...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 December 2012):
 Why the need to stay connected? That certainly will NOT help you move forward or give you reason to work on your own life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): Why bother?...He has ended it, probably got bored in the end.Move on, he's not worth it.
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