A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend and I have been apart for about 2 months. It was a 3 year relationship. There were a lot of events that happened shortly after that I learned to be okay with. He is now married to a girl who he's been friends with longer than I've known him. Tonight he asked me if I'm over him and I said I am. I asked him the same but he said no. He said he is in love with me still. I'm very confused and I don't know if I'm over him anymore. I thought I was but now I'm just so confused and don't know what to feel about this. We're going to talk about this tomorrow (I hope) but I just need some help. What should I do? What do you think of this? Please give me some advice, any advice. Thank you! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (9 July 2011):
so he,s married a few months after you split up to another girl he has known longer than you i would not even consider getting back together with him was he cheating on ou when you were together? because that is really quick to meet someone fall in love and get married
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 July 2011):
 Okay, so he dated you for three years, then you broke up only 2 months ago and he got married to someone else?? Plus, he's also known this girl for longer than you've known him? Did he cheat on you? He must have had feelings for his friend while you two were dating.
You *have* to get away from him. He sounds very confused and unbalanced. He marries a woman two months after breaking up with you, and now wants to cheat on his new wife. Really??
When he got married, he went out of your reach. And seriously, do you date cheaters? Even if he didn't cheat on YOU with this new woman, he wants to cheat on his WIFE with you. Sorry, but that is not this beautiful confused person. This is a cheater.
He made his bed, and now he has to lie in it. You need to find someone available and NOT confused. Just because you once dated him doesn't make an exception to the "no cheating" rule. And if he married her on a whim, that makes him extremely immature.
You can do much better. Time to look forward and not look back pining for him.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (9 July 2011):
 He wants his cake and he wants to eat it too. He's obviously bored with married life and wanting a little spice. Tell him to take a running leap. He's had his chance with you and he blew it. Don't let him back in to ruin your life for his fun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): Ok so he was your bf for three years, and you been apart two months, and he's already married. If he had really loved you, he would have married you. Doesn't that tell you something?
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A
female
reader, Sexified226 +, writes (9 July 2011):
Move on. There was a reason you broke up and you will find someone better there's millions of people out there the right one just hasn't found you yet. You shouldn't ruin the marriage anyways you should just stop having any contact with him at all it'll be better for both of you In the end.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): ...You broke up two months ago, and in that time he's now MARRIED?? What woman would even agree to that..It's a huge red flag! Being married and all, and still telling you he loves you is the 2nd red flag, and finally the 3rd would be he got married and isn't happy within 2 months. It doesn't sound like this guy is going anywhere in life, and is prolly unstable. Are you sure that you only have feelings for him now that he's taken? If not, another possibility is that it's too soon after the break up to truly be over him. All these things combined make for a very unhealthy relationship, and I would advise against seeing him...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): You were over him. Stick with that.
If he's still married, he's not an option. Disregard every word that comes out of his mouth while he's still married.
You and him shouldn't even be having this talk now because he's still married. because really, what's the point of such a talk? If he wants out of his marriage, then he can certainly get divorced, with or without you in the picture. Getting divorced has nothing to do if there's someone else waiting to welcome him with open arms or not. So there's no reason for him to talk with you about feelings and such. As long as he's still married, there's no point.
he needs to figure out what to do about his marriage first, independent on you. If he wants out of his marriage, then he should get divorced. and THEN call you to see if you're still available. Not the other way round.
And since that is what he should do, there's no reason for you to talk with him unless he's already divorced. What are your options otherwise? Either you're over him, or you're not over him but he's married which is a dead-end option.
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