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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I’m desperately worried that I will end up cheating on my man. We have been together a little over two years and things seem to be a bit strained between us. We love each other very much and have always done everything together the trouble is when it comes to sex, he’s just not interested anymore. When tackled about it he says there isn’t a problem. I know he loves me and would do anything for me, but I’m at the stage of feeling unwanted sexually. We hardly ever have sex and when we do its me that initiates it. Everything else in the relationship is great. It’s just this. I can’t stand not being intimate like we used to be and feel that I’m not getting the attention I need at home I will go elsewhere. I don’t want to end up doing this as I love him so much. I just get him to see that I need to feel more sexy with him. He doesn’t see it as a problem and says that we are more than sex I know this to be true but no matter what I do it doesn’t change. I’ve been supportive and tried to understand, but I have needs too. He does masturbate and he doesn’t have erectile problems. He’s just not into sex anymore. He looks a porn, but that’s what men do. It’s not that I don’t do what he likes as we’re pretty open about that stuff. He just doesn’t seem interested at all in sex. I really can’t get him to see that I feel needed in the bedroom. I want us back. The sexy couple we were but there seems no way of getting it back when he feels everything is okay. Doesn’t mater what I say he doesn’t think its a problem. If I’m not getting the attention I need I feel like I want to go elsewhere for the thrill but know I will regret it.How can I work through this and get it out of my system,? I have been real supportive over it but now it’s depressing me that I have everything in my relationship but this part. I don’t want to lose what I got, but I still feel I should be able to have a healthy sex life with him. Please help
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reader, pops +, writes (9 October 2005):
Isa he worried aout getting your pregnant? Or is he having problems with his career? Those are a couple of the common reasons men turn off on sex after being active. Talk to him about this, and let him know how much sex means to you. Everyone needs to be lusted after, and if he is not flirting with you, and you,he, every day, there is something definitely wrong with the relationship. Maybe he has decided that he really doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with you. Ask him. After two years, you should be making wedding plans, or going your separate ways. Be prepared to do the latter. It will be his loss, of course, but there is another man out there who would love to treat you as his queen. Find him.
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