A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is driving me nuts. I guess it's unusual for a girl to have this problem, but here goes... my boyfriend of six months has NO sex drive. He's on a very strong antidepressant which causes his sex drive to diminish. I, myself, am also on antidepressants. But my brand doesn't cause my libido to plumet. This is causing me great frustration and I don't know what to do!! He can go for weeks without sex and it doesn't bother him, whereas I'm gagging for it all day everyday! I've tried all sorts of things that I know works with most guys to spice things up, but nothing works for him :-( and when we DO have sex, he can never seem to climax, and if he does, it's because he's had to get there HIMSELF. I've only made him come TWICE the whole time we've been together. And It's not like I'm unattractive or unfit. I've tried talking to him but he won't open up to me. He just blames the medication. I need good sex, it makes the relationship intimate and loving, but I'm just not getting it and I'm not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel any time soon :-( what should I do?? P.S self pleasuring just doesn't cut the mustard. So don't even suggest it.
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 Antidepressants are notorious for killing sex drives and making orgasms VERY difficult. I don't think this has anything to do with your attractiveness. He should go talk to his doctor about switching to another medication.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 You seem to suspect that he is making excuses, but I think he is not; antidepressants differ from each other in side effects , and most of all the same antidepressant my have more of a side effect, or less, or nothing at all ,in different patients. Biochemistry is a complicated thing.
And delayed orgasm is a VERY common effect of antidepressant, all doctors warn you about it when they prescribe them.
So it is perfectly possible that his antidepressant has zapped his libido , while you have been luckier and that did not happen to you.
I don't think you should take it personally, it's a chemical thing.
All you can do is asking him to talk to his doctor and explain him the problem, to have his prescription switched to another brand with hopefully less of an effect on his libido. With antidepressant it is a bit like with the pill, at times you have to try a few before finding the perfect balance between best possible results-least possible side effects.
If he does not want to do that, though, I would not insist . If he feels his current medication is the most effective in managing his symptoms, ..... sex is important, but health is MORE important. I'd try to see things from his point of view, and to be patient . After all, he won't be on antidepressant forever ! ( he is not supposed to, meds are supposed to be a mean to an end ).
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