A
female
age
41-50,
*ubEllie
writes:I've been with my partner for 10 years and we have the most amazing relationship.More recently he has had trouble getting hard enough- or staying hard enough to have sex.I want to be clear- this isn't a problem for me in any way shape or form. I love him and being with him in anyway. I love if he fucks me- but I have never cum from sex (with any one) takes me ages to cum with a vibe. But I get so turned on when he uses me in anyway. And he knows this. Anyway he mentioned it was worrying him during a night although he did managed to cum eventually. But it is the fact that he is bothered by it that bothers me. I don't quite know how to approach it but I want to talk to him about it and reassure him that it isn't a problem for me. My question is two fold- I like using my mouth on him- even if he doesn't get hard is this still pleasurable for him? As I am happy to carry on if this is the case. Also any tips on opening the conversation. We have talked about everything in our relationship. I don't want this to be an exception but he is the dominant one and I am sensitive to the fact that this could compromise his perception of that status. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ima FreAk! +, writes (25 August 2016):
 Hiya!Firstly communication is the key so it may be ideal to discuss things about what you like and don't like with regards to sex. For example introducing new aspect of your sex life by using toys, role play including the outfits, kinky sex and all that "jizz" (pardon the pun :P). About him being the dominant one, I know that some men enjoy women taking over occassionally as in initiating sex or you know turning them on etc. With regards to your specific question about mouth on him, you could give it a go and see how he feels. If it is flaccid you may have to tease it (licking and lightly sucking) on the top part as it is where most of the stimulation comes from. Lube could be helpful too or using toys to stimulate the top part. However I do agree that he may have to seek a medical help. I know it's a sensitive topic but it would be ideal to book an appt to see the GP just to be on the safe side.Nevertheless keep up with the support and reassurance you are giving him! Hope my advice helps! Good luck! Love, ImaFreak x
A
female
reader, singinbluebird  +, writes (25 July 2016):
 This probably isnt an area that you can walk right into and start helping him on, if he is the dominant lover and a man it may be a bit emasculating to him if you were to jump in and try too hard to please him. Be sweet, be who you are, and maybe suggest him going to clinic to get some help but dont barge in and order him medication (not that you will but just wanted to say this) and make sure he still feels masculine in other ways. Let him know his touch already feels good to know and if he eats you out and uses fingers, that you are still his sub in everyway. I dont think it will compromise his role at all but right now he might not be feeling so masculine and is sensitive about it. Just support him by continuing to be you, staying sensual, staying confident that things will get better. I hope he does seek medical help however so he can take pills to help his ED or advices how to raise his testosterone level. Good luck
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