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male
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Agony aunts, I need some advice and thoughts.I was in a gay long distance relationship, where we had plans on getting married. We were together for two years, and through out these two years we were devoted to each other.When we were together he was all over me, and expressed how much he desired me, and wanted my body, and make love to me, and grow old with. Before we met he was involved with a woman for a few years but they ended their relationship, as they were not happy.When we met he said that he wanted to be with me, and that his preference was me, and promised me, and he wanted to spend his life with me. When we'd get together, he'd be all over me, kissing me, and giving me bj's, and touching me all over, he even said that he prefered playing with my body than anything else- ie,comparing me to a womans body .Now out of the blue, he says that he doesn't want a relationship with a guy, and that he wants a woman where for instance last week we were planning our lives, and this week we broke up? and he isn't seeing anyone else as he said he hasn't.For two years he declared his undying love for me, and always said that his heart belonged to me, and that he could not imagine his life without me.How can someone that was in a serious gay relationship, suddendly change from one second to the next and say he doesnt want this "gay" relationship?I'm confused, and angry and feel betrayed by someone that I thought Id spend my life with.Could he need space, can someone that was gay and in a serious gay relationship change and become straight?
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female
reader, ShortandSweet? +, writes (24 May 2006):
 F**ked up person. Not your fault. Do you think he was experimenting? Whatever it is- it is not for you - you are obviously a sorted and sound person. Forget him and forge a wonderful life for yourelf, darling xxxxx
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (24 May 2006):
 Ive not had first hand experience of a gay relationship but I would have said that your guy is actually bi sexual rather than gay. He obviously likes both sexes, but cant make up his mind which he does prefer, when hes with a man he loves the male body, when hes with a woman he loves the womans body. Maybe he himself is confused and is scared at the commitment side of things all of a sudden, maybe hes suddenly realised that he might want children, he feels that he cant do that if in a gay relationship. He may have decided that hes got the male relationship out of his system now and wants to go back being with a woman. Maybe he needs a change of scence. This must all be very hard for you, as you have been in love for so long together, I really dont know what the answer is hun, but maybe try talking to him and asking why he suddenly feels this way, has something happend, does he suddenly feel that life has passed him by and he wants to get out there and change it while he still can... He owes this much to you, to be frank with you why he suddenly got cold feet, at least try and talk to him, I know its going to hurt, but maybe if you get some answers to what you need to know it might be easier for you deal with. I wish you the best of luck and hope that whatever happens you keep the faith and life changes for the better for you.
Take care
x x
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