A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My lover's leaving to a diff state for a new job. We will still be friends but when we said bye he said he doesnt want me to miss him ..then he said he will miss me a lot and that weve gotten so close but hes leaving. We held each other for long time and he put his head down, admitted gently he has gotten attached and started cryingI care about him a lot but him opening up so much and being so sweet to me, I am overwhelmed by how much he has revealed and by how emotional he gets knowing hes leaving me. I held him and told him its going be okay and I kissed him many times. We have very been very sexual and affectionate towards each other for two months and IDK if he has ever had this kind of intimacy with anyone before...I am feeling overwhelmed a bit. We both know we wont be able to be together but will remain friends. Will he be okay? I guess I am worried now...How can I make it easier for him to go? I just want to know he will be okay. Has anyone ever left a lover for a job and how did that go? Were you able to move on ?Just a note: I'm a good friend too so feel excited for his new job and his new opportunities. So he knows how supportive, loving, and cool I have been about everythingThanks in advance
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (24 August 2016):
 You've only been lovers for two months (and aren't in a relationship), so it's about 10 months too soon to be considering moving to be with him, in my opinion.
That said, is there no way for you to try a long distance relationship? That's if you both want a relationship, not just sex.
Then again, that would only work if you can see yourself wanting to move there in a year or two, or him back to you, which probably wouldn't be great so soon after moving.
I think you just create some space and only talk like friends from now on.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 August 2016):
 How can you make it easier for him to go? That really is up to him, he's made the decision and he has to deal with it.
He is in control here, so what is HE doing to support you through this transition?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 August 2016):
 Well it really all depends on how much the relationship means to the both of you. Is there any way you could move away with him and look for work there? Or is there anyway he can look for work closer?
It sounds to me like you have both made up your mind to part with each other once he moves, but are you both sure there is no other way around it? If you both really care for each other then you should both try harder to make it work.
If you have decided you don't want to try then the best thing you can do now is call it off now. Don't wait until he is leaving to have a big emotional goodbye, I suggest calling him up and meeting today or tomorrow and asking him what he really wants, if you both decide to stay single then give him a hug and say goodbye. No point in you both wasting any more time and becoming even more attached to each other. The longer you both leave it the harder it will be to say goodbye.
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