A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am married to my wife 9 yrs back, and have two kids. I love my wife verymuch. It was three years back when my wife was carrying my second kid, her sister stayed with us to help her. During this time, somehow we both liked eath other the way we think and the way we make jokes etc.. we started loving each other secretly. One day my wife's siste told me she liked me and ask my openion. In fact, i am bit a boring person. No girl ever liked me so far. Her interested on me opened my love channel and went up to having physical relationship. It was this time i really felt very happy being with her. This is the time my life changed 180 degrees. She was with us for 6 months. We used to go to hotel to spend time there like wife and husbond. I realised i love my wife's sister more than my wife. This is what i am feeling guilty sometimes.. My wife is innocent and trust me and loves me a lot. Whenever i think of my wife i feel very guilty. But whenever i think of her sister, i feel somewhere deep inside my heart that, my wife should somehow die ( i should not be cause for her death).. so that i can spend my entire life with her sister. I may be selfish but not able to control my feelings and ready to die myself for my wife's sister.My wife's sister was first very much in favor of eloping but since last few months, she insist that i should forget her as she does not want to cheat her own sister. Whatever happened happned.. enough is enough. Let us close our relationship before anybody know it.I need some ones advise how i should control my feelings for my wife's sister. I am not able to love my wife like i used to. But i pity her very much. i am in confused state. I like my kids and have tons of hopes on them. My kids need their mother so i need my wife. !!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, a husband  +, writes (10 April 2008):
You are able to love your wife the way you used to, but you're not allowing yourself to do it. You think after nine years and two kids her sister would be any different?
You have to fix this, and I hate to say it, but you should talk about this with your wife. That might sound ridiculous, but one day this will come out, whether that's on purpose or on accident.
There's a lot you can do to fall in love with your wife all over again. I hope you realize that.
A Husband
www.iamhusband.com
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all comments made. Now i really got an idea how others treat me. I was not sure the intensity of mistake i am making ! Since two days i am trying keep my thoughts away from my wife's sister. But some how my mind and heart is being pulled by the thought of her !
Now i began to hate myself for what i am and still could feel the love for her from bottom of my heart.
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A
male
reader, previasc96 +, writes (9 April 2008):
You aren't confused, just forgetful! What is going on with you and your inlaw must of happened wit you and your wife, or you wouldn't've married her! That mushy passionate stuff only lasts for a while, that's why there must be something more to the relationship. If you left your wife and kids for your inlaw, the samething would happen again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): I couldn't imagine what I would feel like if my sister did it to me. Imagine if one of your siblings did that to you. And your children?!
Your sister in law and you are sick, sick sick people who are destroying your wife's trust. Two of the most important people in her life betraying her like that is foul.
The most important people should be your children. Stop thinking about your wife and her sister for a moment. Do what's best for them. What would they think if you left them for their Aunt?!
I'm not saying stay with someone you don't love. But your driven on by lust. Your NOT IN LOVE with her. You love your wife. OF COURSE your not going to love her the same way you first did. But you vowed to stay with her and only her and make a damn good effort to do so.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): I'm just wondering, you're not the same poster that posted the question on masturbating to a picture of your wife's sister are you?
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 Hi,
I feel extremely sorry for your wife, she is being betrayed by the ones that she trust's the most. If you do not love your wife then dont stay with her. But at least have the decency to leave her sister alone. She should also be ashamed of what she has done to her own flesh and blood. I dont really know what you expected everyone to say, but I doubt you will get much sympathy for your situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): You don't throw the net very wide do you? I mean - was it a '2 for 1' offer or something? Distaste aside I think you need a serious chat with 'the sister' on how you can both remove yourselves from this disasterous relationship and vow that it will not be spoken about again. That is the only way your wife will not find out. I would respect your wife's sister who wants to end it if I were you. If she starts to feel threatened or pressured by you she may tell your wife just out of a need to 'get rid of you' and out of sheer hatred. Trust me - her sister will win her loyalty not you. If you lost both relationships (perfectly possible) and your kids in the process what kind of woman will want anything to do with you in the future (particularly if she has a sister!) because trust me it will come back to haunt you again and again. Agree with the sister that it was a big ugly mistake and that you both should regret it and bury it - and concentrate on loving the woman you both currently share a relationship with. Your wife, her sister. Also - don't be so innocent to think other people may not already know about it. Body language, looks, comments - they all get picked up on.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (8 April 2008):
 You have got to be the SICKEST POSTER I have had the misfortune to answer. 'This is why I am feeling guilty sometimes. My wife is innocent and trusts me and loves me a lot. Whenever I think of my wife I feel very guilty, but whenever I think of her sister, I feel somewhere deep in my heart that my wife should somehow die (I should not be cause of her death). So I can spend my entire life with her sister.
What you feel for her sister is not love but LUST, and having a relationship with her while your wife is carrying your second child is totally unforgivable. You should not just like your kids but LOVE THEM, are you capable of that four letter word then YOU SELFISH CREATURE. NO YOU ARE TOO BUSY GETTING YOUR END AWAY WITH THE SISTER.
At least the sister has an ounce of conscience and wants to end this CHARADE, if I was you I would concentrate on loving your wife and children and forget about the sister.
I rest my case, Dusky.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (8 April 2008):
 Hi
Blimey, dont do things by halves do you!
Your wifes sister is heading in the right direction, finally, after taking the seriously wrong road, by wanting to call a halt to it now!
Not too sure how you can 'stop loving'the sister though. You need to avoid her. Go to counselling and get some thoughts out your system, and keep your fingers crossed your wife finds nothing out. Ultimate betrayal! She will be devestated.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (8 April 2008):
What do you mean, no girl has ever liked you? Your wife loves you!!!
You need to stop seeing this girl. Cut contact and work on your relationship with your wife.
Do romantic things together and get some help.
You cannot ruin your life, your wife's life, your wife's sister's life and your childrens' lives. You chose marriage with this woman, you must now honour it.
Good Luck!! xx
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