A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My sad story here we go. My looks turn people off. I'm married have a child but want girlfriends to have coffee with. I'm not that ugly but look real young for my age and older people think I'm a kid and younger ones think I'm uncool. I dress conservative but people never give me a chance. I have only 70 people on social media and know 3 personally. I'm so lonely why wont people give me a chance I need friends Reply to this Question
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female
reader, hilary  +, writes (30 July 2014):
 You do not need facebook - the so called friends on there are not friends. You do need true friends you can meet up with and spend time with. People who judge you by your "conservative clothes" are not people you should want to be friends with either - nobody nice would reject you because of that. But you do not know they would do that, you are simply assuming that because that is how you see yourself. Some might be jealous of you because you have a child or a partner, some because you are grown up for your age, it really does not matter why because you do not need people you do not gel with. It may be a lonely life right now but you have a loving partner so hold onto how much you have rather than thinking about what you do not have and remember that you will make worthwhile friends - ones that last and really like you - given time.
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (29 July 2014):
 don't evaluate your life on social media numbers - three great real life friends are worth 3million online friends. I know nobody on facebook as I don't use it.
Be confident - that will make you look older (or rather closer to your age) and dress age appropriate or go overboard with clothes and hair that make you look like you are 30 plus.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2014): Maybe it's not your appearance that makes you seem younger but your demeanor. If you're very shy or lack confidence and have a tendancy to sit on the side-lines not talking to people it may give people the impression that you're more like an awkward or sullen teenager rather than an adult.
If confidence is an issue (which I suspect it is) I would suggest you do some work on raising your confidence with some assertiveness training or with a counsellor etc.
To meet people try and join some hobby groups which meets regularly. Ones that appeal to people of all ages.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2014): I've been told that I seem young because of the way I dress. Once you start talking your age shows...so I would become talkative to strangers...practice...and one day someone will realize how great you are and be your friend.
Also there are meetups, get togethers organized online, for groups of people. Mommies, singles aged so and so, etc. Anyway these are divided up into ages and interests and this could help you too. Google meetup and your city.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (28 July 2014):
Hi
The perils of looking young...its a curse I know all too well. Im 36 and look about 19 and I HATE it.
Is the main issue your confidence relating to looking young and being held back from meeting new people out of fear they will patronize or embarrass you? Do you actively avoid people out of worry they will say something to make you feel childish or silly?
Mark
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