New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

My long distance lover wants me to move in with him, but I'm worried, what should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and we have been long distance the entire time. I live in Indianapolis, IN and he lives in Nashville, TN. I know that we both love each other dearly but lately things have gotten so crazy. We fight all the time, he wants me to move to Nashville – like soon, but I am so scared. I am so close to my mom (who is recently divorced after 40 years) and I feel that I will be abandoning her. I have been telling him for months and months that once fall comes I would move and now I’m not sure what to do. The thought of starting over, leaving my mom, and our constant fighting scares me. What if I move there, leave my whole world behind and we don’t work out. I will be left with nothing. I will have left my home and my job. I know that I shouldn’t be worrying about that and take it one day at a time but we fight a lot. Over the stupidest things. He hates that I don’t like everything he likes, that I don’t go to church as much as he (even though I’m deeply into my faith – I’m just really busy). He is also in the music business and travels 365. So, I would be moving only to be left alone half the time. Which I knew that would happen when we started dating and I think I’m ok with but he acts like “oh well”. But ultimately it’s the fighting. I mean, even last night he got mad at me because I kept talking about the Olympics and he said that I was being selfish talking about something he doesn’t care about. Granted, things have just been bad lately so I know he was just annoyed but still. Are you kidding me! I need help. What do I do? I love him so much but I’m not sure what to do!!

View related questions: divorce, long distance

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (13 August 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

aside from the rather tumultuous relationship you already have, I would suggest it is crazy to move interstate with a man who will hardly ever be with you. You will be in a strange place by yourself for the most part. You will get very lonely and have to fend for yourself.

I cannot see how this is a good idea. If he was prepared to actually be with you, that would be different , but it sounds like he needs a warm body to come home to after he is on the road. The arguments you're are having now will no doubt multiply...really i cannot see how this can work.

Perhaps its time to think about your future . good luck mate.

<-- Rate this answer

Add your answer to the question "My long distance lover wants me to move in with him, but I'm worried, what should I do?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312498999992386!