A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I meet a girl a long time ago on the internet and we started to like each other. I live in the mid west and she lives on the west coast. We started going out becuase we discovered we were almost perfect for each other. We started to fly back and forth meeting each other and we were MADLY in love. Then Time started to take its toll on this relationship. Being sooo far of a distance she started to get very moody and it was very hard for me to calm her down everyday on the phone. We always talked on the phone for at least for 5 hours a day. So we always stayed in touch and it was like she was always there in a way. In the last month its been really hard and last week she decided to go on a big break with me :( we have talked about it before, matter of fact we took a break from the phone and not talking. That only lasted 3 days cuz we couldn't stand it. But this time She dosn't want to talked me to me anymore, she wants to be able to go out on dates and everything which is understandable. But its just very hard for me because in my mind she is the one for me. She was my first everything, we were like peas in a pod together.She said that she will always love me and also said "Im not ready to settle down, I love you and always will, and your the guy I want to end up with in the end" It makes sence but it hurts so much. Since the break I havn't talked to her, and to see how she is taking all are pictures down of me and what not Hurts so much. She needs her space I know. But its like im just stuck here waiting, I can't smile at anything anymore, just a very hard state to go through. I almost think it would be easyer if she said I never want to be with you. But I know she loves me to death but the though of her being with someone else hurt. I have treated her like every girl has ever dreamed of, and she has told me that.Well my real question is what should I do? I don't have anyone to talk to about it, because she was the only person I would talk to about personal stuff. I always want to be apart of her life. I want her happy even if im not in it. ill always be there for her. I just don't know what to do :( my mind is a mess
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a break, broke up, I love you, long distance, the internet Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Always remember girls love flowers, no matter how old or young. Surprise her with a flower from time to time, specially picked for her.....Promise you she will love it, and you will be getting more smiles of happiness then what you can imganine! Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Love yourself, respect yourself and by doing just that, you will let this girl fade out of your life, and mind! She does not deserve you, she is not treating you with "repect". Start thinking about yourself and start doing things you enjoy, maybe get a hobby or something to keep you occupied.
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A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 Hi Hunny
Oh my heart goes out to you, long distance relationships must be so hard on the couple its hard for me to understand how it would work as Ive never had one and I live on a small island...You seem to have put everything into this relationship you possibly could hunny.. Flying out to see each other and the many phone calls..It sounds as if she got down because you were so far away and she just couldnt do it anymore, You are both quite young so keeping it going is going to take alot of hard work untill you could work something out so you lived closer and its a huge step to take...You dont want to loose her friendship you said you want to see her happy and you still want to be part of her life, Give it a little time hunny and see if she could still continue being friends..It may be that its to difficult for her right now but it may be that she starts missing contact with you as you were so close and talked about everything with her that she will contact you again...I cant be sure on that hunny but there is a possability she may feel that way...At this moment you are going through a grieving period....And you will feel alsorts of feelings hurt, anger, depression, and feelings of being lost...You have to belive in you always hunny, You havent anyone to talk to that will make things worse, Have you not got a mate love that you can confide in? You will go through this horrible period when you feel your mind is in a mess as you put it hunny, But what you must remember is that you are a strong person and you can get through this I wish I could offer you more help all I can say to you is never loose faith in you as a person and in time things will get better hunny...I hope things do improve for you very soon hunny....TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 What she has said to you is completely unfair on you.
She's left you with the hope that she will come back to you eventually and wants you to chase her, even though she's prepared to go on dates with other guys.
The fact that she's made it alright for you to still be feeling upset and depressed about the break up even though she will be going out and getting with other guys, says to me that you're just a back up, and she'll call on you when she needs you. Why should she make you feel that you have to sit at home wondering what she's up to, when she goes out on the pull?
You need a clean break from this girl, I know how hard it is but it will be worse if you let her drag you along like this.
She says she loves you but why is she then comtemplating dating other guys at the moment?
She's making you build up your feelings for her, whilst telling you you can't talk to her anymore? Doesn't this strike you as odd?
Sounds to me like she just wants you to chase her and make her feel like God's gift to men while she goes out on the pull.
I seriously suggest keeping away from her now - not because of what she wants, but the liklihood is that by talking to her, your feelings will grow and with a clean break, you'll feel better in the long run even though it will be painful to begin with. Maybe when you and her are on better terms you can then talk to eachother as friends on the phone and stuff again, but for now - don't contact her till you feel much better about the situation.
I'm sorry to have been blunt, I know that you do love her, but this girl seems to me to not be allowing your feelings to die down for her and this isn't fair as she is the one who initiated the break up in the first place.
I hope this helps, and I do hope that this problem sorts itself out.
Take care xx
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A
female
reader, little ninja +, writes (6 June 2008):
 LET GO: Yes, I said LET GO. No matter how much you love and care for your ex, as long as you stay attached to them and are hoping/praying for a second chance, you will not heal completely unless you first truly let go. The reason for this is allow your heart to heal, to focus on self-reflection and improvement and to get your mind and body in a state of happiness. No second chance will work if you are still pining and miserable over losing your ex.NO CONTACT: That means exactly what it says. For the first month or two, you must never contact your ex under any circumstances. If you do, you will have to start the process over again. That means no emails/text/drunk dialing, etc. Now, that doesn't mean if they contact you that you should never reply (chose wisely) but if you do, make sure to keep any replies short, sweet and to the point. Take your time before replying, even several days. It's good to sleep on an email before replying so you have a clear head and are not replying with a ton of emotion. Never discuss the relationship during your healing phase and above all, DO NOT STALK YOUR EX. Do not try and find information about them. Whatever is going on in their life, you can't handle the information right now. Stay away from their web pages, blogs, etc. Don't talk to mutual friends (trust me, they will share any negative comments) Ignorance is bliss. Don't focus on who they are with and what they are doing. It will only torture you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and while they may be living it up with the a new person in their life, chances are it's a rebound for them as well. It may take up to six months to a year for their new person's bad side to show through. In the meantime if you screw it up by clinging to them, bad mouthing them or otherwise stalking them, you will only serve to push them away even further. If you are constantly arguing with them or otherwise trying to cling to them and force them back to you, you will make it a painful experience and that is what they will associate with you. Happy/Fun/Pleasurable is good. Arguing/Clinging/Whining/Crying is very, very bad..i wish you luck sweetheart..x
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