A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im in a ldr with an awesome girl, we both love each other very much, im in america in she is in europe. we have been together for 6 months only but i miss her so much that is painful. she has just told me she wants to finish school in her country and until then she will move to america with me. ( not interested in transfer here) this is going to take 2 and a half years. i cant afford to keep traveling to europe every two months to see her, emotionally neither because i come from happy to see her daily on skype to sad to miss her. i look at other girls and then become sad become my girlfriend is far from me and i cant touch her and at the same time i cant talk to other girls because i love her, im not sure if i cant wait that long, i talked to her about it and she does not want to break up, she wants to try but im not sure how much longer i can take it. please help, what to do, im very confused!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim not a wealthy guy, but i found a job that pays very good money, but is very hard to do and im only doing it for her. im willing to support all her needs until she is able to work. im a 33 y.o. and i want to settle down, im convinced she is the one and i would like to marry her, we skype every night, a few txt per day, write letters and try to have the closest and most normal relantionship as we can. after reading all your comments, well, i guess i have no other choice than wait for her, maybe if everything goes ok propose her in a year and a half more and get married when she finishes her degree. what do you think?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 December 2012):
 It would be easier for her to relocate ?? Not really, unless you are rich and generous, and willing to pay for her education.
How much is it now a year of college in USA ? 20.000 ? 25.000 ? maybe more ?...
In Europe she can study in excellent , prestigious universities for A TENTH of that , or less , according to the country. Heck in some countries,like Sweden she could study almost for free ! The exception is UK where education is expensive-ish, but still nowhere like in USA.
And what about HER credentials ? Suppose she moves with you right now, then for some reason it does not work between you and she needs or wants to go back home. Most probably she would not be able to jump right back on track in the course of study she has already begun , she'd have to get " equipollence " for her studies abroad, which is costly and time consuming. If she gets a degree in Europe and then moves to the States later, she will still maybe have to get equipollence ( to get her European study title aknowledged and validated as equivalent to an USA one ) to be able to use it, but then, in 3 years time, you'd have a much clearer idea if you want to be together for the long haul and share your life permanenently, than now after a brief 6 months romance.
And, how would she live in the USA ? If she gets a student's visa , she is not allowed to work , are you going to support her completely , A to Z ? ...
But if you are so well off financially, then it should not be a problem just buying yourself a flight ticket every couple of months or so...
My impression is that you 've haven't looked too accurately into the matter , and it's wishful thinking which makes you think it would be " easier " if she moved .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2012): HONEYPIE! is dead spot on, best advice I have read.You want to be with some bimbo that does not care about school? She sounds like an independent girl, and she is very RIGHT about putting her school first. As honeypie stated, transferring to an US university is not easy, as well as costly. What? Are you going to pay her tuition as out of state student rates which are almost triple?? )):)????If you dont want her to pay tuition you could always marry her, petition her and she can apply for fasfa, what? you won't marry her or pay for her immigration process?Why can't you leave your school/work here and go there?? Are you going to support her financially and emotionally on everything by bringing her here?Bringing someone here is not as easy, she will need a work permit, a visa allowing her to work, and etc. Will you pay for all of this and help her through it? Or will you support her financially so she wont work?? You know transfer international students CANT work right?Rethink your relationship. I was also on a relationship lon-distance. A few suggestions get a blackberry phone or an iphone or get that app whatsapp so you can IM 24/7. Play games together , get a teamspeak or RC server (which is like 10 dollars per year) and it is a communication application for PC like skype, but it is always on saves lots of $$ on calls. Get a credit card/ airline loyalty program with a company that lets you earn "miles". Figure out the best (cheapest) times for travel for both. Write letters (physical ones) back and forth and mail them (sounds mushy BUT at least you will expect something of hers)... We had been apart for 3 years, and saw each other for one or at most two months out of the whole year (during his summer vacation from school, or my summer vacation we would alternate).Also, do not sweat the small stuff. Let it go.If you cannot do this, or you are unwilling to move or wait, then rethinking your relationship and finding someone local as honeypie suggested is your best course of action.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your answer :-) i have contemplated to move to her country, however i have no knowledge of the language, and my credentials are not valid there, therefore it is practically impossible to find a job there or to get a work permit.She speaks perfect english and she is very familiar with american culture, so it would be easier for her to relocate.I offered to sponsor her so she can transfer to an american college, however the sponsorship program takes for about a year and she doesnt want to wait that much to continue her studies.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 December 2012):
 First of all, it is NOT easy to "just" transfer to a US college/university - it depends on what she is studying.
And in my book her finishing her studying should be her 1st priority.
However, 2 things.. WHY can't you look for work there? Why does she have to be the one to give up her entire life for you?
And secondly, if the 2 1/2 is too long, maybe you need to re-think the relationship and find someone local.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (2 December 2012):
 If you think you can't wait, then move on. If you can't wait, you simply don't love her as much as you think you do. And frankly, 6 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You'll move on and so will she. Moving to the US without finishing her degree would be beyond stupid... especially for a man she's only known for 6 months (long distance at that) and a man, who doesn't think he can wait 2.5 years for her to potentially move to the US. Your hormones and emotional love high are clouding your judgement and expectations. No one in their right mind should make such sacrifices. Find a girl closer to you or wait. It really is that simple.
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