A
female
age
30-35,
*okyodogs
writes: I guess I made him angry or sad because when he was going to go out to have lunch, I told him in a happy way "have fun" and he said that I seem to be happy not to talk to him, which isn't true. he also told me he wants me to talk to him at nighttime there like how we used too (i live farther now for a few months) he seemed sad about that too. Then he started saying mean things to me,saying I should find another husband (we plan to marry oneday) and making fun of me that I act like a child. After that he told me to not miss him (when we first dated he missed me like crazy and now not so much but now I miss him like crazy) I ignored him the other day and he kept on logging into msn a couple times (I was invisible) then yesterday he didn't go online at all. I'm sure he wouldn't cheat me because he only wants me since I make him happy, I'm convinced he truly loves me. What should I do? Thanks
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female
reader, Tokyodogs +, writes (26 November 2011):
Tokyodogs is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for answering. He was just very mean to me that one day and so that's why I played that little game with him. We both have different cultural backgrounds and he told me that if a girl acts like a child (not all the time) then that means she is very cute and that man loves her. The reason why I trust him is because he always helped me feel better and helped comfort me about my past and told me he will never hurt me like the men who tried to rape me five times. He was just always so kind and helped me feel better. He even talked to me everyday and I never even asked him to contact me. We have only known each other for about 6 months which I know he took it fast. I trust him 90% but the 10% I don't trust him because we are very far apart. When we first talked to each other, I was still in Japan and the time difference was only by one hour. I had to go back to USA for a few months for school and he really didn't want me to forget him. We still talk everyday except it's more difficult now. He believes me and trusts me but I just know he gets jealous when I talk to other men and before he wasn't so jealous. Yes we are totally honest with each other. Never hide secrets and always tells the truth. We tried many times to call by cell phone (he calls me) but it doesn't seem to connect right. We also plan to webcam and I know I shouldn't be VERY shy (I'm always shy to everyone) but I usually say I can't do webcam today.. And he becomes very sad since he really wants to meet me and talk to me instead of the internet. We were planning on meeting each other around Xmas time but I will have to go to his place since he's poor 0.0' well not dirt poor but you know.. But I am also not super rich so I need to work and so I don't think meeting each other will be happening this year. We also never met each other in person. With the marriage part, he said he definitely wants to marry me but of course he says we need to meet first. I agree too lol. I agree that I should reconsider things.. It's just when we met each other, I became very happy (I was suffering from depression and he was too and he's in college) he also told me about when we met, how his life was more happy and he became more brave at doing things. That's why he really doesn't want to leave me and find another girl and me finding another boy. (I also cared for him and kept him company when he was in the hospital so maybe that's why he trusts me?) Also since he doesn't know much about girls and since I'm his first gf, he sometimes says wrong things to me and when I get angry he's always sending me a bunch of emails and even videos saying he's sorry and he never says the wrong thing again. (he also had many problems like his parents adopted him to his grandparents at age 1 and he also had a surgery too because he had many headaches.. And he still had headaches and when he has it when he talks to me, he has a short temper... So that's most likely why he's evil sometimes and he does apologize to me and promises when he feels better, he will make me very happy.) I know that his friends and roommates are telling him that it's impossible for us to be together and when he told me that, he said he can't do that and he'd rather kill himself and I told him "I know it's very difficult but even so I won't give up and let go of you" and he said the similar thing too.He knows almost everything about me. He knows that I usually call myself stupid and he knows that I get hurt easily by others so he wants to protect me and be by my side.. So I trust him. And I will make this relationship work but I just need some advice on what to do.. I guess I say too much negative things about myself?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 November 2011):
 you are 17
you are long distance
he is mean to you (you said)
he said you act like a child
you play games with him by being logged on invisible to see if he is logging on...
how do you know he loves you?
let's start with 17 is too young to be planning a marriage
have you met in person?
how long have you been friends?
do you trust him?
does he trust you?
are you totally honest with each other?
how do you communicate besides online?
how often do you plan to meet with each other?
what should you do?
how far apart are you two time wise? is it 4 hours to drive? 6 hours? how often can you see each other?
it's very hard to have a long distance relationship
it's very hard to have a teen relationship
it's nearly impossible to have a long distance teen relationship whether you have met in person or not...
I think you need to consider long and hard whether or not you want to waste your best teen years having a long distance boyfriend who is mean to you and calls you names and picks fights with you.
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