A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i m 17 in committed ldr relation since 2 years.my bf is 18.lately i have realised that the things have changed.my bf has stopped paying attention.he doesn't wish me gm, neither he texts me.at night he hardly calls.what to do so that my bf will text me,communicate with me?moreover we havent met since 6 months.when i asked why,he said he will meet me next year.this is because he wants to concentrate on studies and wont be possible for him to meet.but recently he went to a famous beach place(Goa) 2000 miles away,enjoyed with his friends.but he didnt meet me.we are at a distance of approx 2200km.not only this he even said he will parcel me a gift from goa but he didnt.he was telling me that his family is middle class so he cant buy things now.but he himself buys branded shoes,jeans.he brought nokia e72 which is costly.he even purchased a branded specks and gave it to one of his male friends.then he himself bought another pair of branded specks!!but i get nothing.he jst says love u.he neither texts nor concern my feelings.every night he feels he is irritated with me.he said he is turning bad because of me!when i asked how,he said because i irritate him.i said i will walk out but he doesnt want that.even i dont want to move on but i just wonder how we can survive without meeting each other for 1.5 years!!he said me to come and meet him but its not possible as its risky.plz suggest something.thnx for reading it.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (30 May 2011):
Hi there. Have you ever met, or has all your communication been only by internet chat sites?
LDR's are very challenging to keep going, because of the loneliness and absenteeism that's always there.
Two people who like each other, really need to be able to see each other in the flesh. Face to face.
What you miss is togetherness. You can't kiss each other, can't hold each other, can't look into each other's eyes, can't laugh together or go out together and have fun.
There are so many things missing in LDR's, that it's a wonder any of them survive at all!
And apart from all those things, each of you does not really have a clue what the other is doing in your absence. So there are trust issues as well. There is just no way of knowing what's really going on at all.
If your only communication is by internet chat sites or text messages, you are not really talking in the normal sense like two people sitting in the same room looking at each other. It come's a very poor second. It's nothing like the real thing.
Either of you could be dating other people and just saying to the other that nothing has changed between you.
How would you know? It just isn't possible.
Sooner or later, it's going to come to a point where you will ask yourself - "Is this what I really want? Is it enough for me?"
You probably see a lot of your girlfriends going out with their boyfriends - who live in their own town - and having fun and enjoying themselves.
Don't you think you deserve that also? Of course you do.
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