A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am trying my hardest to get on with life right now but Im finding it quite hard.My long distance boyfriend dumped me 2 weeks ago. He got depressed and as a result he didnt care about anything or anyone. Then one day he woke up and realised how far behind he is in school and has decided to focus any energy he has on school, therefore i got dumped because he has no energy for love or relationships because their such hard work to keep up. He has been to the doctors and been diagnosed with depression and to begin with he will be recieving therapy to see how he gets on with that.I love him so much. I dont have much friends myself here because friends have always used me and back-stabbed me so their came a time i realised their not worth it, so I have 3 close friends whom I see quite regularly and we go out and do things but I can still never get him out of my mind, he's just back there waving at me. I try to not talk to him online as he wanted to still be my friend but Im not his friend, I find it difficult to be so I figured until I can be civil with him Im going to try not talk to him (that doesnt always work because I used to talk to him everyday and I still want to but whenever I talk to him I end up getting upset and asking some stupid question and he gets mad and snaps at me being kinda mean and its my fault and ergh)Thing is I actually plan on moving to where he lives, not the same town, ok well truthfully I love his town I would move there in a heartbeat but I officially think it would look rather suspicious or weird if I went there, but I will be close (like maybe an hour or two drive at most) Ive wanted to live where he lives since I was a little girl and I had already started my application for a years visa around 2 month ago. My plan is to be there for a year and hopefully have found a job who will keep me so I can apply for the skilled workers visa and then eventually permanent residency or if not found a job by year one I can apply for the same visa again for a second year and hopefully by then I'll be settled. But it's something Ive wanted to do for absolute years, waay before I even met this guy.I hadnt actually told him I planned on doing this until he broke up with me and I kinda had a huge mental break-down infront of him and so much stuff came pouring out of my mouth including my plans.Well anyway my question is do you think that when I go over there he may take me back? I plan on hopefully being there by the end of August, beginning of September and by then he will have been in therapy for 3/4 months and should maybe be better, idk.Do you think theres a chance? because now instead of being online it will be in real and physical (we have met and in real we are great together, we look good and get along amazingly) Or is it more likely he will move on entirely and be with someone else?I love him and I can tell that he is one person I will never truly get over ever. He will still always have a place in my heart. I thought we were going to be together forever, that we would grow old together and it hurts knowing that at this very minute he wants nothing to do with me romantically and has no feelings for me in the slightest.
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broke up, depressed, long distance, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): I know what your feeling I have been thorugh this myself. I asked asvice and everyone told me not to contact him and just forget about him. For a few months of absolute agony, I didn't contact him and let him sort himself out. I finally gave in and contacted him sayng hi, and we are now back together and better than ever. Long Distance is hard and depression is hard, he is probably overwhelmed I know becaue I suffer from depression myself. Give him some time, respect his decision for now, and just see what happens. I know it's hard but if you don't show him that you respect his decision you may push him away and lose him. It hurts like hell, but in the end it may work out if you show him that you care enough to respect he needs time to deal with his health issues. I hope this helps. Take care of yourself.
A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (25 April 2011):
 I know what it's like to have a long distance relationship end unexpectedly. It's horrible and I'm very sorry it's happened to you.Firstly, don't TRY not to talk to him, DON'T talk to him. Cut off all contact with him and remove him from messengers/social networking websites until the time comes when you know in your heart you can be civil with him and won't feel sad when you do speak with him. Take all the time you need, rushing it is the worst thing you can do because it opens up old wounds.As far as the move goes, that's great as long as you aren't moving there in the hope of getting back together with this man. Moving is a big deal I'm sure I don't need to tell you, and moving in an attempt to get back with a guy who broke up with you is a bad idea I'm afraid.To answer your question, it's hard to say for sure if there is any chance. Like I say, we're talking about a guy who was willing to break up with you. Who knows for sure what he might do next. All I would say is don't expect it, because if you go there expecting him to take you back and he doesn't that will be very painful. But then, it is understandable to take that risk when we truly love somebody.In all honesty, (if you are going primarily to try and get him back) I advise you not to go and to move on from him. However I accept that this is not something you will easily be talked out of, believe me I know. But whatever you decide to do I hope everything works out for the best!Good luck!
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A
male
reader, availablegod  +, writes (25 April 2011):
your story is somewhat similar to mine..all that I can tell you now is whatever life might be..it definitely isn't fair.just hold on to some hope..and don't believe in anything but yourself.take good care of your health...god bless
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