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female
,
anonymous
writes: Please help me I am desperate.My boyfriend of two years spent last night crying on the phone to me as he is worried I am not the one. He says he doesnt feel how he used to ( that he was sure I was his future and we were going to get married, etc) but he still loves me and doesnt want to break up. I want to move over to his counrty to be with him, but he says he isnt ready for that yet as he doesnt know if we are destined to be together. He feels there is something missing between us but he cant define it. He also says Im the most amazing person he's ever met, he loves me more than anyone and cant imagine his life without me.I am going over to see him this weekend, what the hell should I do? How do I behave? I think that he is looking for a fairytale romance that doesnt exist. I also think he isnt taking into account that we have a long distance relationship so of course we cant be sure we can be together forever - but why not give it a try?Please, help me... I love him so much and this is my nightmare come true. I have been worried lately that he has been drawing away from me and this is why. He says he is worried that he cant give me what I want from a relationship, as I put so much more into it than he does. Any advice....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006): Hi, I am sorry you are in this situation. I can understand and feel with you. Your nerves must be wrecked.
My advice, to be honest? Don't go to see him. Just don't. The guy is telling you that he is not so sure. Take his hint and give him space. I know it's very hard. Very hard to do. Going there is not going to make him surer about your future, it will only prolong your agony. He has already 'ruined' it , if you know what I mean. Give him the space. Yes, there is a risk. But also, do you want a man to be with you just because you are following him and he feels guilty? Or do you want a man who is with you because that is what he wants 100%?? Be strong and be a woman. Men love strong women who are not afraid of losing them. Believe me I know what I am saying. Please think it over . Sending hugs your way. Be strong. Call a close friend, go have a drink, buy something nice for you. Distract yourself, it will be ok. Being distant with him is your only chance if you want him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006): This is a hard one but i think you should go and visit him and just be yourself. I know it will be hard after that conversation but do try.
How far apart do you two live? The distance and not seeing each other all the time has created some doubts in his head. If this relationship is going to work it will survive the test of distance.
Go and have a great weekend. If it doesn't work out then you will get over it. Then the distance will help because you won't be bumping into him all the time.
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