A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Friends are great but when I'm single I get lonely and end up in bad relationships. Seems to be pretty consistent so far. My dating isn't great. I have a good time but nothing ever develops. Either I'm not interested or she isn't. Now I've been single close to a year now and I'm afraid I'm going to settle for whatever opportunity comes. There are some girls that always ask me out, and I know they're bad news but I think if I grow more lonely I'll eventually just say yes as I have in the past.Wouldn't it be nice if those you liked, liked you back? Sadly, that has yet to happen in my life. I think my past relationships were born out of loneliness.Any advice? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (3 September 2009):
 People are driven to relationships for a number of reasons.
I think what you really want to do is focus on finding the right person for you, rather than just taking whatever it is that gets handed to you.
I can't think of anything worse than getting yourself into a bad relationship to cure loneliness. From everything you have said so far, you are looking for someone who will "nourish" you as a person, be there for you, be close to you and not run when things get rough.
I don't know your age group or gender, so its hard to say what it is you keep running into.
Some people are interested solely in having a good time, and maybe you look like a good time superficially and so they assume there is less of you there than there actually is.
You can try a lot of different internet dating sites that specialize in matching people up based on characteristics and traits. eHarmony is one site, then there's a few others out there that seem to have a good track record.
It could also be a sign of where you hang out. Bars are the most notoriously lousy places to pick up people to share your life with. On the other hand, social events, concerts and other places where people are relatively sober and more into what they really enjoy in life is where you might find a better person to spend time with.
Try and examine the things you've done in the past to find people to date, and see if you can't change your habits a little bit to find the right person instead of the wrong one.
|
