A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:help big time!!I have been with a very emotionally unstable man for two years on the first of september. I have a child with another man. I am in debt.so there are my three problems. this man has an unforgiving heart. he meet me and was impressed with th fact I was a single mother going to uni and managing a house etc. i had a car and was pretty sorted in his eyes. here i am today struggeling with him dealing with the whole story....the man i was with left me to struggle with a child and go to uni and pay off debts.I on the other hand have had to deal with his past too. Prostitutes and a Very messed up family! A sister who marries but tells none of the family she is marring. A father who will not talk to his daughter and has a strange relation with his son, my fiancee. Yep we got engaged? you know those long engagements where you the woman wonders what the hell is this? I discovered his insecure as he was sending money to some prosi/tom in phillipines money and she was texting him asking the fool if he was on line a few days after my birthday and we were having a fantastic week. i am so angry and bitter by this mans inmaturity yet i love him.there is also the fact he is bitter about my debts. never once asked hiim to help me pay a penny towards the debts. i did ask for his help with my studies and he told me to go to hell.i hate how i love him yet am angry he is able to help me but wont. i hate how he turns his family against me and isolates me. i am so unhappy yet feel he is the one. help me sort myself and this mess.
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (28 August 2009):
Sometimes life can be a huge mess, yet we have to change things to try and clean it up. With that said, you choose who is in your life and what makes/doesn't make you happy. The way this man is behaving is very bad. He falls for some scam of sending a prositute in the Phillipines money, yet he can't help you with some of your schooling, and he told to you go to hell when you asked for help?! Not to mention he's bitter toward YOUR debt?! I think it's time you tell him to go to hell.
Does he live with you? Does he help pay for anything if he does live with you? Is he just a leech living off of you for free? From what you've said, he doesn't sound like a very good person, and I think you know that you don't deserve that. He makes you unhappy, but you think he's the one? "The one" is supposed to be the one that makes you so happy that you never want to let them go and you want them in your life forever. It's simple, basically everything about this man makes you unhappy. I think it's pretty evident that the bad outweighs the good in this relationship and it's time to think about yourself.
You CAN be alone and not have some jerk in your life making your life miserable. We all have choices, and if you choose to keep him in your life, you will continue to be miserable and unhappy. Cut him loose, and you may be sad or unhappy at first...it's normal. Just remember that it may not necessarily be him that you miss, but the routine that you have with him. The sadness of a breakup will pass, and within several months you will be happier than ever, I assure you. Or you can keep him and several months down the road still be unhappy and wish that you had dumped him on the side of the road months before.
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (28 August 2009):
 You deserve better than this. If he truly loved you, he would not use you and then criticize you for loving him.
Perhaps you should try and find someone else who will love you without so much baggage.
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