A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:So many things are wrong I can't solve any of them and its affecting my wellbeing. I'm in my mid 40's. 5 years ago my husband left me and for a while I had no where to live and no car. I had to re-locate and as a result have lived in three different towns since, doing temporary work to keep myself afloat. Over the last 6 months that work dried up and, despite having quite a good CV and applying for hundreds of jobs I've had no luck in securing anything. I've tried networking, agencies, writing direct letters you name it. Its been suggested that I'm over-qualified for the work that is out there, which I think is probably true but also code for I'm too old for what they are looking for nowadays. I've pushed on and kept going but now I am applying for any role I think I can do - from basic admin to retail to waitressing. I just hear nothing back. A kind friend has given me a roof over my head for the last 3 months for free but I cannot over stay my welcome any longer - although they are not pushing me out and never would it is not fair on them - and this plays heavily on my mind. I'm dealing with other issues which are adding to my troubles such as coming to terms with the fact I will now not have children. I know I am not alone in saying this but just cannot believe I am in this mess - 15 years ago I had a career, home and social life. My ex husband, who never spoke to me again after the day he left (we were married 15 years) lives in a beautiful home, re-married a year after he left me and his career (as it always did while we were married) just gets better and better. Its hard to keep going. I have very very few friends because people disappear when life gets tough and they realise you don't have anything materialistic to offer them. My sister hates family so has nothing to do with me or anyone else and, because my parents are elderly I can't trouble them with my problems. They either worry or criticise - neither of which I can tolerate - so I lie and put on a brave face. I feel quite isolated at the moment and have started to feel like I cannot be bothered with going out or making an effort. I have been to counselling and although it helped me move on from the divorce it's not going to solve the practical issues that are in my life every single day. In fact I cannot afford to pay for counselling any more.If anyone has been in a similar situation I would be grateful for your advice - where do I start?! Its hard to keep going though I know I need to be positive.
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female
reader, ArtisticBiscuit +, writes (28 May 2016):
 I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.I've heard a pet can help people who are lonely. If you're too poor to afford one you could try looking after other people's pets while they're away. You can even make money from doing this:http://www.moneymagpie.com/make-money/make-money-from-pet-sitting-and-pet-boardingOr volunteer to get experience on CV... or just to meet others. However, my mother is in similar situation when my dad died. She keeps busy with dance class and projects such as sewing. Joining classes gets you our the house and meet people.If you've got lots of time on your hands, you can learn a new skill. Make something to sell online or local market. It's a slow process but if you're determined to change you will get through the rough times.Best of luck- ArtisticBiscuit
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (25 May 2016):
 I can identify with your troubles; yet you need to at least get out there, force yourself off that couch, out of that mind set and volunteer in something.
Helping others also helps you. Keeping your hands, and mind busy is absolutely vital. We all need to feel useful and engaged in human interaction in some shape or form.
I know what coming to terms with not having children can be like, so your focus and energy need to be channeled into something… work, (new) partner, aged parents, hobby, humanity. I chose hobby and humanity.
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