A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I recently became long distance as I had to move to another city. He would call me daily but only to tell me his itinerary of the day. There are no emotions, nothing romantic, its very repetitive and predictable. We are good when we are physically together however. He has been in a long distance relationship before, I know that he use to talk to his ex on Skype, play games with her online. They text each other sexual things and they are likely to have virtual sex. He has never asked me to do anything like this or never even texted me anything slightly intimate for a matter of fact. Whenever I text him something sweet or sexy, he doesn't reply. Why??? I think if we want to stay connected, we need something beside just talking about our days over the phone. Also, not to sound vain, I am much more attractive (physically)than his ex, emotionally , I don't know, I dread the thought of him feeling closer to her. Don't know what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 November 2013):
 So this LDR is now permanent? How far apart are you? Are there weekends together or is it too far? What’s the plan to end the distance? How long are you two together? If there are no plans to end the distance and you two have been together over a year, well then there is probably not a lot to be said as the relationship will die off... LDRs can never be permanent... there has to be an end to the distance in a reasonable amount of time or it's just wasting time.
All of the above questions will come into play for the answer.
Comparing yourself to his ex is dangerous territory. And the fact that you compare yourself and your only comment is that you are physically more attractive means you feel insecure about either your sexual prowess or your emotional or mental comparison to this woman.
Personally I’d rather have an ugly guy with a great mind and a good emotional makeup than a handsome face with no substance behind it.
My husband and I did an LDR for the first year we were together. We have a couple we are close to that has been LDR their whole relationship and they are MARRIED a year now… so 3 years LDR but they see each other pretty much every weekend. I tell you this because I get LDRs and feeling NOT connected.
Being sexual over text or via skype is not going to make you feel more connected.
THINK about what couples who live and love together do, they talk about work , and their day and what’s for dinner…
When my husband and I were dating and getting serious our day went like this:
8 am I would call him to wake him (his request to me was for an 8 am wake up call) we talked maybe 30-90 seconds…
During the day we might have email… we might not…
Sometimes we had phone calls sometimes not
Bedtime (for me was 9:30 some times later) I would get into bed and call him… we would talk anywhere from 2-5 minutes to 2 hours… just depended on how the day went….
WE never were sexual over the phone or in skype or email… there was no need… sex is not what connected us… the day to day living of our lives is what held us together.
Our married friends.. same thing. Perhaps it’s our age but I don’t think so.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 November 2013):
Saying "not to sound vain" before saying something vain doesn't make it not vain.
There is so much more to intimacy than how pretty you are, fyi. It's entirely possible that he connected with her on that level despite her physical imperfections.
It's also possible that you're letting your imagination get the best of you. I doubt you know as much about the details of their relationship as you think; you seem to be assuming a lot here.
Maybe you should be the one to initiate Skype calls. Send him a dirty picture, etc. If he still doesn't respond I don't know what to tell you other than end the distance aspect of things asap.
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