A
male
age
30-35,
*oger113
writes:This might be long..Hi guys. I started dating my online girlfriend last year in November. We live quite far from each other so meeting has not been possible and we had agreed to do it when it's affordable for one of us. Our relationship was awesome for the first four months, we loved each other and never had any trust issues. That was before her parents got involved. They were totally against us being together but we managed to stay in touch and vowed our love would win in the end.Things were going great until recently, she would tell me how horrible she felt inside and how much she was turning into someone she never wanted to become. I got annoyed and thought I was to blame for it. Out of trying to make her rediscover who she was, I suggested she takes a break from us and she said it was worth a try. She told me how much she loved me and that one day we would be together and that I'm the only one for her, its just that she needed a bit of time. To be honest, I was hurt. I only suggested taking a break cause I didn't know what else to say. We used to tell each other no matter what on earth, we would always be together but she went against it totally and suggested we become friends for a while.I kept my feelings bottled up and told her we could be that and pretended I was happy but deep down, I'm hurting. I wake up with a heartbreak everyday. I think she felt too much pressure from us, since she suggested this break a few days after I told her a personal secret I hadn't told anyone that's got a lot to do with my family. It's nothing bad btw, just something she didn't know. Now I don't feel like the friends thing is working at all. we keep contact but its no longer the same. I don't like her as a friend and never will. What do I do? I decided to ask here first as I was just about to tell her to keep her distance from us altogether until she's clear what she wants. I love her, she loves me too but something is not right. I just can't lay a finger what, maybe its peer pressure or something...but we are now broken up. Help. Thanks
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female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (19 July 2010):
 i like how people go into relationships before they meet its not even a real relationship sure you feel something and you both say things but does that mean anything..dont get me wrong once you meet and spend quality time i think then its a relationship because your comitted you know each other better. but as for online only thats just it online! you have put so much love and care into something that isnt that real and that is were online dating is dangerous! your emtion are all laid bare to get hurt without the physical of the relationship, your not their and never have been so you dont know whats going on! before getting into ldr the first thing to do before putting a label is meeting all you get is online something that can be switched on and off. im sorry for what is happening but either she will tell you no this isnt going to work or i dont know or it might work! putting her under pressure isnt going to help so back off and let her come to you but really my best opinion is move on and meet someone you can meet and spend quality time with not someone who you know on line. meet people on line or off but just make sure next time you put quality time in before calling it a relationship! thats my opinion. best wishes aphex x
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