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My LDR boyfriend objects to me going alone with a guy to have coffee or see my new city!

Tagged as: Friends, Long distance, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2015)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am in a long distance relationship for a few months now,my boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years,im in a new city and I have made a few local friends!one of the guy said hel show me around we could have coffee and it sounds good to me!but my boyfriend never allows this according to him I shouldn't be going alone with a guy!i don't see anything wrong,I'm in a new city I don't have much friends if I make a few then what's the problem!what Fo i do!?am I wrong!?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2015):

Make friends with a girl, not with a guy. Why do you think this guy wants to show you around and have coffee with you? Because he wants a new friend? Hardly,I very much doubt it.

Your boyfriend has all the right to be upset about it. He is away and you are going to hangout with a new "friend" a guy. It sounds like you are going on a date, really

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2015):

I understand where you're coming from, but i've got to say that i'm with your boyfriend on this one.

I believe that people in a committed relationship shouldn't hang out with people from the desired sex one on one. It might have been different if it was an old friend that has been part of your life before and whom your boyfriend knows.

That's just me, every couple is different. They just have to agree on whats right for them.

Why don't you ask the guy to bring some of his friends along? Make a day out of it? Or maybe if you know someone ask them to accompany you?

I really don't think its a matter of trust, but rather a matter of respect for your boyfriend and your relationship. Would you be ok if it was the other way around? Your boyfriend meeting up with a new lady friend he just got to know? Think about it and talk to him

All the very best

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 June 2015):

Honeypie agony auntAs long as this new friend KNOWS you have a BF, I can't see how a cup of coffee can hurt.

I think you need to talk to your BF about boundaries and trust. If he can ACCEPT you have made new friends (either gender) he should be OK with you having coffee in a public place with a guy. I think your Bf is being quite overbearing and controlling here. UNLESS there is history of you cheating or something, he really should not try and DICTATE your life.

Maybe you should should try and make some female friends as well. Guys might want to be your "friend" because they think they could have a chance at something more.

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