A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and me have been in a long distance relationsbip for 8 months we have only managed to meet and see each other the last three months due to the pandemic. So before he was kind and sweet and now he has withdrawn affection and romance somewhat. He's not as living as before. O haven't done anything but he constantly tells me I need to show him or prove that I'm worth it. This offended me. We went out for a nice meal last night and I said "how comes when I compliment you you don't say anything other than thank you? You don't say anything nice back to me" and he said "it will take time to get back to that it won't just happen overnight" I was surprised and I said what have I done ? I haven't actually done anything and my attitudes have never changed to him. So he then said I ask for too much and that I ruined dinner. Which - I paid for. He was on his phone a lot to his parents about borrowing their van to move. He seemed generally cold and distant.i said to him I shouldn't need to prove to him anything when I haven't done anything to break trust. I feel like telling him it's over because I came all the way here twice to visit him. He's never visited me. I've paid for the trips 90% on my own. What more could I possibly do
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (7 August 2021):
 You are still in the "honeymoon period" of your relationship yet it is already becoming increasingly harder work. You have only invested 8 months in this relationship. If I was in your shoes, I would be cutting my losses and getting out.
Your boyfriend sounds to have a great sense of entitlement. If this relationship is already such hard work, what is it going to be like further down the line? People usually make a real effort early on in relationships. If this is his best, imagine what his worst is like?
My advice would be to tell him you don't think the two of you have a long term future and cut him free so both of you can find more suitable partners. You deserve so much better.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 August 2021):
 I'd end it too.
He is not happy with his current situation and taking it out on you, (I think) So he is unhappy about something so he is punishing you. OR he is simply a total dick in person something he was able to his over text.
Ge doesn't WANT to put in ANY effort. OP you're the one traveling to see him, YOU don't expect him to pay for everything and he chooses to sit and sulk and tell you that you ruined dinner (that you paid for) by asking a reasonable question?
HE is NOT investing in you. Whatsoever.
I hope you two hadn't planned on him moving in with you... or you with him.
I think I would just walk away and look for someone to date MUCH closer to home, so you can spend more time IN person getting to know someone.
I think he liked the IDEA of having a GF during the pandemic and over text/online but in person where he HAS to make an effort he is just not wanting to change things.
Wish him well, block, and move on.
No, you shouldn't have to prove anything to him. IF he doesn't trust you, that is on him. He is acting like a dick. And not the "good" kind.
Dump the chump. Trust your gut.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (5 August 2021):
 To be honest OP, apart from the effort that you have already made i don't think that there is an awful lot more than you can do.
I know its probably not what you want to hear but i don't think he is into you as much as you are into him, which is why you are finding yourself making all the effort.
Relationships should be 50/50, but making the effort to make things work. From your post he is making zero effort and leaving all the leg work down to you. You have been to see him twice, you are always saying nice things to him, and even footing the bill for a meal when you go out.
OP, i think that you should end things with him, i don't see things getting any better. I would end it with him and find someone who gives you the love and respect that you so rightly deserve.
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