A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is currently going to college 200miles away, i asked for two days off in a row from work everyweek so i can drive down to visit her for 2 days a week and drive back, i also work 10hr days and as soon as i get home i call her to see how her day went for another 2hours and then she goes to bed, i do this everyday since shes been at school (3months so far).Now i used to go over to my friends house about 4-5times a week before she i ended up daing, but now i see my friends maybe 5-6 times a month because on my days off im at her college and when i get out of work and get done talking to her on the phone its too late to hang out with them (they work overnights). Now that shes at school and hanging out with friends and playing pool when shes not doing homework and while im at work, im kinda bored and lonely so naturally i want to hang out with my friends more, but the thing is, when i get home to talk to her on the phone i mention to her that i can only really talk to her for about 45minutes tonight and then im going to "joe's" house to hang out and shes gets pissed at me, she has never said it but i can tell her voice changes from content to annoyed and pissyI think this is highly unfair is there something i can do or say that wont get her really mad but will make her understand where im coming from?Thanks again
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 March 2009):
Ah bless, she's got you wrapped round her little finger.
They say that you don't have to use specific words on dogs, just tone of voice and you can control them.
If her tone of voice changes then I think you are perfectly entitled to say "what the hell is your problem? Why are you sounding pissy when I do ALL THIS for you, and you NEVER put effort in to see me, and I want to GOSH see my friends."
Tell her that you are putting a hell of a lot into this relationship and not getting a lot back so if she is going to talk down to you and try and stop you having friends ONE NIGHT A MONTH, then it's just not going to work.
She's got this ALL her way at the moment and she probably doesn't even realise how awful your life is at the moment because of her.
Give her a kick up the bum and remind her how lucky she is to have such a hard working and dedicated boyfriend.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): Hmm, let's see: you spend 4 days a week driving to and from her college and spending time with her; then talk on the phone to her for another two hours every day. Then when you want to have a shorter conversation so you can hang out with your friend, she gets upset.Frankly, I don't know how she can not seem to realize or appreciate that you spend a heck of a lot of time staying in touch with her.I know its your choice, but I think she's being very unreasonable. You just have to tell her you have things to do, and friends of your own to spend time with, and that you expect she has things to do, as well (trying to suggest a firm, yet polite way of putting it next time you talk to her). If she is annoyed then, let her BE annoyed. She'll get over it. And if she doesn't, then maybe its time to think whether you want to try to maintain this close of a friendship with her. You are entitled to a life of your own!By the way, can she not come visit you say, every other weekend or so???
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