A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my ex left me and the kids about a year and a half ago after i found out he cheated on me and i kicked him out.He has been with that girl ever since. I hate her. I miss him the kids miss him and we all want him home. I see a counselor but I cant shake my feelings for him? He is nice and the man I loved when she is not around but just horrible when she is. me and the kids cant move on and what makes it worse the kids dont want me to date they say they r just fine with daddy and him and her fight so he will come home soon.. Help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 August 2010):
I think you're making the mistake of blaming this other woman for his behaviour (which you're kind of hinting at). You're suggesting that he's still the nice man when she's not around. He was never a nice man. He cheated on you and left you and your kids! That's not a nice man. Please don't make the mistake of blaming her and ignoring that you were married to a cheat who thought so little of you that he walked out.
As for taking him back. Forget it. This man failed you big style.
As for your kids not liking you dating, that's to be expected. In fairness to them, they may well not understand what's happening entirely. To be fair, if you still have feelings for him, you shouldn't be dating anyway as that would be unfair to any other man you bring into your life.
My advice to you is to continue with your counsellor, and really focus on your life and your children's lives. You will get over this guy, but you need to be moving forward with your own life, and making sure you're kids and moving on with theirs. You can't all sit around waiting for this man or hoping he will change. Collectively, you need to be moving forward. Perhaps your children would benefit from a counsellor as well?
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